Last night I had this amazing experience with this coach out in Colorado. She does this work called intuitive something. We were working on a few troubling beliefs. Shyness, fear of not making money from the new album etc. I told her how I’d spent every cent I had on this new album and now its push coming to shove and you know I’m scared shitless if it doesn’t do well. I’m back to square one. So she asks me if I want to do some work on it. She gets all quiet and then all of a sudden she says I want you to go back to when you were nine years old and tell me what you see. I ask her should I try to remember where I was or lived when I was nine and picture something from then or what? And she says no, don’t think, just let a picture bubble up from your heart. You’ll know. Pretty crazy stuff but you have to trust the process as they say. So I tell her I’m seeing this scene where I’m in this music class at school and we’re trying to learn the recorder. I didn’t know if was nine or not. So she uses muscle testing on herself and tells me that that was it. So we go to work on it.
It was quite amazing. We had to learn to play this song by Simon and Garfunkel, el condor passo or whatever that song is called. I can’t remember the name, but whenever I hear that song up until last night it always gave me the creeps. Because back then I had such bad ADD that I could never focus on anything for more than like 03 seconds so I always did terribly in school. I never learned anything, for twelve years I didn’t learn a thing in school. I was a straight D student who made it through on charisma and luck. And I always felt bad about this. Back then they didn’t know there was such a thing as ADD. You were just considered a bad student. So here I was in this class trying to learn how to play the recorder and I just couldn’t do it. Everyone else could. Even the cheerleader type girls could do it. But I just couldn’t concentrate enough to hear what the teacher was saying. But back at my home where I could be free to just do whatever I wanted in my own way and in my own time, I was already playing the guitar and the piano and writing my own songs. So it set up this strange dichotomy inside of me where I was always kind of lost in the real world, even in music class—like I was kind of an idiot who couldn’t even learn to play the recorder, let alone understand math or science, but I was comfortable in my own element and doing really well with music on my own.
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