O.k. I’m done studying porn now. Its been about six months. Really dug in and checked it out. A few days ago, I kind of got the ah hah. Here’s the deal. At first it does seem gross and nasty and disgusting and distasteful and soul-less and all that. to some, I might add. Maybe not to everyone. I know some guys and girls who don’t mind it all. think its great. And so that’s why I decided to really dive in and research it myself. Because I didn’t feel that way about it. so I wanted to discover why. the idea was to dive in and integrate it. you know, you can’t be grossed out by something but still be attracted to it in some way. That whole desire/resist paradigm is a sure sign that you have un-integrated beliefs surrounding something. which then takes up some of your attention, which then weakens your overall personal power. which in turn inhibits your ability to create…. by now we know the drill. Already wrote about the whole porn thing a lot; but I guess the conclusion is that sex is sex. Sex is different than love. And that yucky feeling that one can get from porn is from confusing the two. People think oh that’s so gross. Those people don’t even know each other. That is such soul-less, loveless sex.
But that’s the point. Yes. That’s exactly what it is. its sex. for the sake of sex. But what you have to get over is the idea or belief that that’s bad in some way. I mean, granted, a lot of gross and bad things can come out of the whole sex porn scene, things like child porn, or abusive drug use, or sexually transmitted diseases and all that, but any industry can be that way. shopping at the Gap or buying Nike shoes supports children and women working in sweat shops for 30 cents an hour under horrible conditions at machine-gun point, seriously—so go figure. That doesn’t stop people from shopping there. But that doesn’t make sex for the sake of sex a bad thing. you know? that was the piece for me. realizing that its this natural thing. sex. its not love. Its not about couples or relationships. Its like anything else that we enjoy here on earth. Like food or shopping or chocolate or love. But its sex. and so porn is like the Starbucks for people who like sex. and maybe that’s not necessarily a bad thing. or a good thing. it just is. you know, getting off does feel good. and I think, and this is where we really go deep in the trenches of the human psyche, I think that if it doesn’t feel good to people, I mean, I think if they do have hang ups about themselves getting off, or enjoying sex, or other people enjoying sex and being into it, without being married and all that more conservative religious stuff, then there are probably just some screwed up beliefs inside there that need to be cleared. Its not that you start getting all into it and lose sight of being married or being in a great relationship or being monogamous to your partner or anything like that. You don’t lose that. you don’t lose your desire for love and romance. its just maybe that you realize that sex is this normal thing that is a part of and yet can be totally separate from all of that other stuff.
[o.k. I thought more about it. I watched some of this German gang-bang porn—ten guys do another man’s wife on their wedding night—every man’s dream for his wedding night, right?… The Germans have the most wacky, most disturbing porns out there, lets just put it that way—this one is mild compared to what they put out… I won’t go into the details. the Dutch are very loose and free as well, very matter of fact about it, in the Swedish porns the girls are always these blond little tarts laughing and giggling the whole time—like they’re all at the beach. The French porns are so matter of fact that they don’t even seem pornographic. The guy is like (in this thick French) yeah do me baby…. and its like you’re watching a couple of people wash their car… but forget all that.