I’m typing away. just totally absorbed. And then I hear this voice like right next to me. and I jump. Totally freaked out. and I look up and there’s this lady, obviously a homeless lady standing next to the car. “didn’t mean to scare you sir.” me a sir? that’s funny. “But do you have a cigarette?” I was startled. “Oh no, I don’t smoke.” I say with this cigar hanging out of my mouth. She gives me this confused look, like I’m crazy or something. “But do you need some money?” her eyes light up. she is sniffling. Eyes all bloodshot. “yeah I could use some!” she says. I reach into my pocket. Fuck all I have is a twenty left. “Here you go.” I give her the twenty. She is so happy. I don’t tell Bas or Cleo or Beaver or mom or anyone that I give away so much money all the time to strangers. they would think I’m fucking crazy. I can’t even pay my bills the last couple of months. So broke these days… i could use that money to eat… but then, im not wandering the streets asking people for money. At least not yet… but that’s not the point. Face it, I am crazy in that respect. Is there such a thing as irresponsible giving? If there is, then I’m one of the biggest offenders…. perhaps there’s a 12 step program… but when someone is in need, and no matter you’ve ever thought or been told, anyone who’s gotten to the point where they are asking total strangers for money is in need, and so I don’t know, but… maybe its an irresponsible responsibility that we all have to give to those of us who have reached that point in their lives… something like that.
I was parked on the side of the road downtown with the top down. Smoking a cigar and typing. I want to do a series of interviews with priests and nuns and other religious leaders I have met over the years. Been collecting these various people for a long time. I was creating a list of questions for them. Things like, do you think God is a man or a woman? Or is he just beyond all that in your mind? Do you regret not having sex all your life? do you think that not having sex all your life has brought you closer to God?
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