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Tag: emails

Enslaved to the Loathsome World of Email

September 22, 2012

I don’t know when we reached the tipping point of this thing. I really don’t. All I know is that one day email was a valuable means to pass on data of extended detail to people through a very quick means, or perhaps a more polite way to reach out to someone you don’t know well enough to call. And it sure as hell beat writing an old fashioned letter for those purposes, in terms of speed of delivery. But over the last few years, people have come to consider email a means of communication all it’s own. Separate from and equal to all other forms. As if by emailing someone it lets them off the hook from having to communicate with someone in more regulated or confirmed manner. Such as a phone call or a text message. When you speak with someone on the phone about something, you can be pretty sure they heard what you said. There’s clear communication there. But lets’ face it, if you shoot off an email to someone in the middle of the day and don’t hear back from them, you have absolutely no clear way of knowing if they even received it, let alone read it.

It’s 12:41am here. Have church tomorrow. So tired from what goes into music videos… Spent ten hours today between hair, makeup, wardrobe and shooting. Must have shot the song twenty times. It’s a crazy world. Point being that even if you do spend all day working, like I did today, you still have to check and respond to emails these days because people have become accustomed to just dismissing their regular communication through shooting out emails to people. I mean, it’s just come to that now. People don’t bother calling or texting you. They think because they’ve sent you an email they’re in the clear. When did it get like that? More importantly, how did we let it get to that? It’s like BAM they shoot off some email as if their job is done, and hell you might have received a few hundred emails that day. There’s no way you can get through them all even if you weren’t working. It’s physically impossible. Unless you’re an octopus. Or a clone of a clone of a clone. At least once you reach a certain level in your career of choice. Which I have now. A few years back. Which basically means that for all the money and success I enjoy, I am forced to endure an equal quantity of copious emails.

(Someone just Poked me on FB. Seriously. Now THAT is irony at it’s finest… LOL!) Now I do have a system set up. For those that wonder how that works, once you reach that level where you are receiving tens of thousands of emails per week or month, I’ve got an assistant or two who are copied on all emails that are sent to me. That’s been going on for about ten years now. More probably. And if something really important comes in they text me a copy of it right there on the spot so i can text them back a response to the sender. Their other job is to just get that number of emails down. Sort them. Filter them. Get the spam out. Get the newsletters out of there. Let me know if anything personal and important arrives that needs my attention. And let me know if anything important in the way of business arrives that needs my immediate attention. And that works for the most part. But there’s just no way in hell that one or two people can handle it all unless that is ALL they do. Which right now we don’t have set up. They’ve got other jobs as well. So a lot of it falls through the cracks. Meaning, that it just hits my box and quickly makes its way to the bottom, beneath that line where you can’t see it, and by the time the moon rises on the horizon there are a few hundred emails below that line just from this morning. Poor bastards want a response. Problem is, I might not see their email till 2014. And that’s the truth.

And there’s just no way around that. I’ve heard people say “Dude, get email on your phone so you can read them while you’re away from your computer.” Yeah, good idea. I’m away from the computer because I’m working. On the phone or in a meeting or actually “doing” something. Last thing in the world a man needs to be doing while he’s doing one thing is have his nose buried in a cell phone trying to read emails. It’s just not appropriate. If you’re working all day… you’re working. How the hell are you supposed to then sit down and spend another eight hours sifting through people’s emails? It’s crazy. But people expect it these days. And a lot of these people are my friends, coworkers, they’ll shoot something out and six months later be like “I think I sent you an email about it…” Makes me laugh now that I’ve vented a little. It’s ridiculous really.

You might not see their email for weeks, months, in my case I’m still catching up on and replying to emails from 2008 this week. I think we took this email thing way too far. Truth is, it’s my humble opinion that if a person sits behind a desk all day and they live in that “email world”, fine. That might work for them. They might “clear” their box every day. Great. They’re life is all about the email. Like people who watch TV. Some do. Some don’t. But you can’t expect someone who doesn’t own a TV to know what you like to watch on Tuesdays at 9PM. Same goes for email. You just can’t expect everyone to be as into it as you are. Your living through emails every few minutes does not mean that it works for other people. People who don’t have desk jobs just don’t see emails every five seconds. And damn me to a world where there’s no Send and Receive button for an eternity, but I think that if you want to communicate something to somebody you should still be expected to pick up that phone and call or at least text them to let them know “Hey man by the way, check your email when you can. I’ve sent you some more details about such and such in an email.” That makes sense. That works.

But the email should not replace regular communication. I think it’s a cop out that people use so they don’t have to follow through with regular communication. “What? Oh dude, I emailed that to you like a month ago…” “Great. Thanks for telling me that now. A month too late.” So here I sit, cross eyed and tired as hell scrolling through emails at 1am in the morning after a full day’s worth of work because a bunch of lame asses decided that they didn’t feel like picking up the phone. The way I see it is this. If what they sent was not important enough to communicate through regular channels then it can’t be that important, knowing that I just don’t have access to email most days.

I don’t know how we got here. But I’ll tell you, it’s a loathsome place. It’s enslaved us all to be humpback desk sitters or little gadget hounds. And i for one love life too much to spend every waking hour glued to some electronic device. I see the ads for “tech geeks”. And I respect their love, obsession, whatever you want to call it. We all have our hobbies. And technology has definitely turned into a near obsessive hobby for many people. I personally love it’s convenience and the possibilities it portends for our continued progress and evolution as a species. But I don’t buy into the fact that we need to become enslaved to it. The life as some call it, la vida, is just way too bella for that.



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Uncategorized emails, enslaved to email, music video, poked on FB

article 2019-04-29 124625_7.html

June 23, 2005
Dear Tuesday,

Yes well that was a good email I sent. Hard for men to write emails like that because it goes against our innate biological instincts in fact. Damn near impossible. But you just have to split yourself in two and force yourself sometimes to do the right thing.

You see, there are three kinds of girls. First group: Some girls can separate themselves from sex. they do it, they dig it, they explore it, they have fun with it, but its not always emotional to them. Cleopatra was like that. I hated it as much as I loved it. it’s a sport or a hobby to them, much like it is to most men. To men, we can totally separate ourselves emotionally from sex. in many instances it can have nothing to do with love or family or romance or emotion, just a fun experience. [this is why you can open the village voice and see close to one thousand adverts for sensual massage parlors or escort services for men just in Manhattan alone, but almost none for women. Ever wonder why that is?] For most men, this is the way it is. for us a sexual experience is much like going to a sporting event or a pub with our friends. Just a good time. but very few women fit into this group. very few. More and more these days, but still very few.

The other group of girls is where the majority of them are: sex is very much tied into emotion and love and romance and family, all that are all sort of combined. When they make love with a guy they really feel something. they can’t help it. its just the way they are built. Sex in some way, even a small way, means giving a part of themselves and they can get really attached and emotional pretty easily. Most guys are not this way. but most girls are.

And then there is a third group: those girls that don’t know which group they are in yet. so they cause a shitload of problems for themselves and the guys they are with because they just don’t know where they are yet.

Now at 22 years old, you could end up in either group. at your age you should be in group 1 so you can enjoy the single years and rack up some good experience. But the truth is that you may not know yet. and if you end up in group 2 but try to tell yourself that you’re in group 1, you could end up really hurt a lot of the time… so before you go flirting with sexy older guys who happen to play in rock bands and happen to collect romantic/sexual experiences with girls like most people collect books or cds, you should know exactly what you are doing and why and what you want out of your life. the last thing in the world I would want for you is to ever be hurt. I always want to see that shiny smile on your face. U dig? 

[In answer to your other question about the groups for guys, I think it’s the same for guys actually. I just think the tables are completely turned the other way. most guys are in group one but want desperately to be in group two so they can have a wife and kids etc so they have to fight their group number one urges their whole life and it causes them a lot of inner turmoil and frustration and guilt. Little do they know they could just wait longer to settle down and get married and get it out of their system a bit and then they’d be fine but instead they spend most of their married life in utter confusion and guilt and anxiety thinking there is something wrong with them rather than realizing that they’re just a biological system that was created to have sex all the time with lots of women. Once you get that, you’re home-free. When you do finally accept that and then deliberately decide to settle with one woman because of the enormous benefits of that, you can settle into it and be proud and deliberate in it. I’m trying to get there.]

Fishy,
In your experience, is that really true?
or are you wanting that to be true?

 Dear Tuesday,

Wow. you are fucking smart. Sharp. Wise. You’re going to have to be careful because how are you ever going to find a guy as smart as you are?

In answer to your question, In my experience I found that the benefits did outweigh the desire for tasting of other fruits… easy all the time? no. but worth it. I did fall in love a few times when I was with Cleo. I still found myself with these mild obsessions that would haunt me… but that one on one ‘we’re building an empire together’ thing is so strong in your mind and heart that it is easy. especially if you choose the right partner — someone you are just entirely obsessed with. Someone who thrills you, who has their own life and you are in awe of.

Dear fishy  

well, I’ve thought about that question a lot
like I said…most guys do not know what to do with me but there are ways in which I am not smart and I think that is what I’m looking for someone who challenges and supports those areas. I think that is why I’m naturally really attracted to older men
because they seem to have the things that I can’t stand dealt with
and have a lot of wisdom in areas where I don’t they fascinate me way more then men my age (I don’t think that I have ever dated someone my age)
honestly, I’m confused as to why I like older men
I’m trying to work that out

Now, I’m working on creating me and doing the things that I love I believe as I create a strong life he will be created to fit into that and we’ll meet each other or we won’t, but I’ll have a fucking great life anyway

so coming from a place of partying where I am at I’ve got men in my life that serve different purposes and that is fantastic too! I think it is best to not rely on one person for everything it is too much pressure so I’m trying to cultivate a strong support around me
so that I can create an amazing relationship with my future guy

not to say I don’t get frustrated and my panties in a twist because I haven’t found someone I’ve been really connected to in the last 2 years I definitely have my moments of pure pissed off and woe is me (I know, that is really sexy isn’t it?)

nice to express thanks for listening it’s been really nice to share these things with you
I’m learning a lot about myself (and you) in the process

Dear Tuesday,

I’ll tell you Lil Sis, it sounds like you really know what you’re doing and have it together. I have learned from what you are doing. I take what I can get out of reading you. I am doing a similar thing. lately asking myself, what do I need to be to attract/and then keep her? its easy to have all these demands and specifications for the person we want to be with, but what about what they want? Are we anywhere near what the person we want would want?

I mean, is my tiny apartment enough? Will she understand what the hell I am doing living like this and why? things like that. but honestly I really believe that it is all up to beliefs. when you believe it you will see it. so in the meantime I do the same, enjoy the life and make the most of it as who I am now the way that my life is now. that is the best we can do. everyday we see glimpses of what we are looking for in the faces of others on the streets and the subways and in the bars and restaurants. These are the little signs guiding us and helping us to understand our heart and its deepest desires. That way when the right person does come along, we recognize it immediately. ‘ah hah! There you are!’

But hey, you’re too young for all this serious talk. Go party more. tease men. Flirt more. Drive men crazy. drive yourself crazy. you should sleep with at least 30 more men before you marry. That way you never look back and wonder… now what about a Nigerian folk singer? I never had a Nigerian folk singer…

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Uncategorized emails, emotional sex, escorts, Labels: biological instincts, men and women, no strings attached, sex for men, sex for women, transcendence diaries, types of girls

A private little world for me… a private little world for you. The online journals and musings of singer-songwriter author and activist Ed Hale. The Transcendence Diaries have been posting regularly online since 2001. Comments are always welcomed. And so are YOU.

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