Spent the entire day working on the diaries and writing songs. Then rehearsed with cooper. He’s getting better. He quit smoking pot for the New Year. So his true emotions are coming out now. just coming out all over the place. like a blossoming flower, a neurotic one. It is amazing to watch people quit drinking or doing a drug they are used to. Because once they stop suppressing their feelings then all of a sudden a whole new person comes out; their heart’s true feelings and their mind’s true thoughts and fears and desires and tons of stuff. they become much bigger and brighter people.

Tonight went to see the new world symphony perform two symphonies. One by Hayden. And the last one by Shostakovich. Went with the girl from Venezuela. The Hayden was fine. Nice. but as soon as the first movement started from Shostakovich’s 8th symphony I felt like I was catapulted into some kind of a …. I don’t know how to put it in words. this was by far the greatest musical experience I have ever had so far. the only other concert or performance that I can remember that even came close to approximating the emotional effect was the U2 elevation tour and a few Dead shows in the late eighties and early nineties. This piece of music—his eighth symphony—is maybe the best piece of music I have ever heard. It was so dramatic and emotional and powerful—I mean like forty fucking minutes straight of this surge of passion—that it rendered everything else in my life inconsequential during the entire performance. It was just unfuckingbeleivable. I never knew he was so good. so brilliant. My body and my heart were on edge the whole time. My mouth hanging open. I just kept saying to myself, ‘oh my God.’

When I am alone I take incessant notes no matter where I am, especially at concerts. But I couldn’t even take notes I was so moved. I just sat there immobilized in a way. didn’t want to miss a second. But I perfected this method where every time I would think of something I need to take a note on I count it on one of my fingers. And then I remember how many fingers I have made a note on. Hard to explain. So my thumb would be one idea and I look at my thumb and recite the idea out loud to myself and then I get another idea and assign it to my forefinger and then look at both fingers and then recite both ideas and on and on and so when I left he concert I could look at my fingers and remember that I had made five notes in my mind, one for each finger and then I could quickly recall all five ideas without actually having to take out a pad and write throughout the whole performance. Just a note. Something to remember. You can at least capture ten different ideas on both hands without having to write anything down. Good way of remembering things when you can’t take notes.