But no more. this move to New York is a bold statement of the extent I am willing to go to make necessary changes in my life to make it that much better and more exciting and successful and fulfilling. One of the many steps in that process is making sure that I get what I want when I want it and I get what I pay for. That I am still empathetic and compassionate to my fellow man but that I am strong and bold enough to get the job done and make sure that others who work for me do the same. That is all part of being a good leader and a successful caretaker of any business or family which I hope to be one day.

Played the cashflow game again with Boo Boo Kitty. I won the game in three hours. Ended up with over a million dollars of cash on hand and four hundred and fifty seven thousand dollars in passive income. A good game indeed. Learning a lot from this brilliant game.

Still finding it very hard to secure good enough paying dats for the band to do a real tour. very frustrating!!!! This is with a song on the top forty of many rock stations around the country and good CD sales nationally. Starting to believe that the only way were going to make this happen is to get a major record deal. I hate to say it but it very well could be that this is the unfortunate but inevitable truth.

Finding myself more deeply rooted in truth more so than I have been for many years. even the diaries have taken on an air of truth quite surprising and unexpected. I feel for the first time since their inception that I am finally writing from my heart of hearts.

The goal is to get the diaries to a level of truth so crystal clear and sharp that they transcend mere telling of events and feelings and become a tool like the diaries of Camus or Davinci. Where they become the canvas on which I work and learn and grow. The only way to accomplish this is to get out of the need to simply recall events or try to build the ego by stretching the truth and to just lay it on the line in as honest and forthright a fashion as is humanly possible.

Also realizing that to rent in New York sucks and that the key is going to be to buy as soon as possible. When you are a renter you have no control, no equity, and no leverage and no buying or borrowing power. I have said it before and I am convinced of it now yet again. to own is power. to rent is to be a slave.

Finding it hard to get anything done here still. still in shock and relocation trauma sort of.

So many beautiful and eligible girls here that I am turning my head every few seconds walking down the street. I realize now that my wife wherever and whoever she is will have to be my destined wife. It will have to be an almost cosmic attraction and coming together. because the truth is that there are many many possibilities out there.  so it will have to be something more fated, something more than mere attraction or beauty or style or anything like that. but rest assured, my intuition tells me that she is just around the corner and I will be married within a year. My message to you my love? I am here. can you feel me?  I am scared and slightly anxious and nervous about money right now in all honesty. I have not been this broke since I was in college. so I am slightly nervous that I will not be able to at this time support us in the fashion that would serve us best, but I am over all feeling happy and excited about my life. even though we have not met yet, you have my heart and my undying devotion. I think of you often and I dream of you during the nights.

A good concise video documentary short about the 9/11 pentagon bombing cover-up is here:

http://www.freedomunderground.org/memoryhole/pentagon121.swf