Skip to content
TheTranscendenceDiaries

TheTranscendenceDiaries

The unofficial journals and online musings of Ed Hale

  • About the Transcendence Diaries
  • About the Author
  • Subscribe or Donate
  • The Transcendence Manifesto
  • Ed Hale News
  • Videos
TheTranscendenceDiaries

Tag: meaning of dreams

article 2019-04-29 124625_2.html

June 28, 2005
Again I dreamed last night that I killed someone, or attempted to.  a guy. I shot him but then he got back up. these are entities. They are lifeless in the dreams. coming from my own subconscious. Don’t speak or do much of anything at all. just a way for my brain to process this need to kill…. almost every night lately I have these dreams where I am killing someone, never really wanting to, but always feeling forced to. and I am torn between feeling that I need to kill them for some serious life threatening situation and then not wanting to because it is another human life. but I always end up trying to kill them but then most times it doesn’t work. They live, struggling there half dead. I stand there looking at it all as if I’m in a dream, confused, guilty, feeling trapped. What the fuck is going on in my brain?

Everytime I see a pregnant girl walking with a guy I feel jealous. Happy for them, but wishing i had a wife of my own who was pregnant. Talk about the biological clock ticking….  But at the same time, the other day, I received this whisper that said something to the effect of ‘Fishy, you aren’t married now. do you get that? that you are single? That you are free? That you can do whatever the hell you want to right now? make love to or go out with whomever and however you want to? you’re spending all of your single time fantasizing about some ideal woman and romance and then you’re going to get married and three years into realize its forever and you never really took advantage of being single. So do it now. go for it NOW.

O.k. so that’s good. I’m glad I remembered that. Now just have to put it into practice. [as if I haven’t enough already… can someone say whackjob? crackpot? Looneytunes? Does the wanderlust ever leave the man? does the teenager ever leave the man? does the boy ever leave he heart of the man?]

Had a great feeling of completion tonight. for the most part finished the grueling process of viewing all the footage for the TV show. And talked with a really cool editor. I felt so good. like wow, we’re really doing it.

Still watching frank Lloyd Wright bio. What a strange man. good at what he did. but weird. his own worst enemy. He could have had it a lot easier if he wouldn’t have been such a loon. But I’m learning a lot about architecture and inspired by his work ethic. The artist always knows he is great. Never doubt that. if you know you are great you’re half way there. that’s the key. Believing in yourself. Great men always know they are great, no matter what the world at the time thinks. History proves it. if someone claims they are great, often times they could be nothing more than a loon with grand delusions, but somewhere down the line they oftentimes just may prove it just by the sheer force of their will and their belief in themselves.

Astrologer told me that Princess Little Tree was my partner in my last life, but not in this one, but we make a powerful force. I believe her. she saw Princess Little Tree without me saying a word. Knew her age, her hair color, what she looked like, and how she acted and was in my life. and many other people in my life as well. just from looking at these charts of weird figures etc… I’m telling you these astrologers are amazing when they are good. the way they can look at your chart and just start spitting out information that is so accurate. You don’t say shit. they don’t even know your name or what you do, and yet they can tell you so much about you and your life just by the positions of the planets and stars in your chart. This woman’s name is Karen Pavlus out of upstate NY. She is one of the best I have ever spoken to. I was impressed. Felt very good about most of what she said. Tony Robbins has a saying that everything in life is either a warning or an inspiration. If it’s a warning, you shift directions, you change and you shift to create what you want. If its an inspiration, you keep going in that direction, keep running with the ball. She saw Cleopatra too. I cannot tell you how many have seen Cleopatra and said the exact same things to me. stand strong and be courageous and fight till you win. this person is poison for you and for herself in this lifetime. it is a life test for you. only you can learn the lessons regarding why this person is in your chart/life and resolve this karma once and for all. you must not back down or it will repeat. Now bear in mind, this is someone seeing a person in my “chart” and not hearing or knowing shit from me. not knowing any of the details and not knowing even if she is speaking about anything remotely relevant. Just spitting out words about a person that she sees on the chart. She even mentioned specifics such as this person is involved with you in business. this person is also involved with you regarding real estate. this real estate is very important. This person was once involved with you romantically. She is bitter, she is resentful, she is hurt and angry and means you no good. no good can come from her here, and yet you refuse to believe it. why? you must break this spell and stand up to this or it will repeat. You think that by being kind and forgiving that you are doing the right thing but you are not. sometimes the dove needs to stand up to the hawks. Do you have any understanding of what I am speaking about here?

It was uncanny. I was more than impressed. I was floored.

Now of course there is another answer to it as well. one can easily assume that psychics and astrologers have a way of tapping into reality, of seeing the future, or the past. Or one can conclude that they just have an ability to see inside the subjects head, they pick up on what the client is thinking and feeling. And that can explain why they all always seem to be so accurately tuned in and say the same things about the same subjects. They’re just reading the mind of the client. Either that, or they really are tapping into data that is really out there available that most of us just can’t access. Either way, its fascinating stuff.

Current spin: four tet, everything ecstatic. Great CD. very Fishy. I could have made it. I would be proud to. but it sounds like nothing like me mind you, in case you go buy it thinking it might. Its sound music electronica. Bleep music. my favorite now. so creative as if he didn’t know what making an album was all about and just reinvented the process. Like those three Radiohead cds they did back to back… o.k. computer to amnesiac. magical.

Like this:

Like Loading...
Uncategorized dreaming of killing someone, everything in life is either a warning or inspiration, Karen Pavlus, Labels: astrologer, meaning of dreams, pregnant women, transcendence diaries

article 2019-04-29 124617_4.html

November 26, 2004
I had a dream this morning that startled and moved me so much that I awoke at 6:57 am breathing heavy, almost hyperventilating; I am up now to take notes on it before I forget it.

Girl very beautiful wanted me, met her where? at a public place I remember. But she showed up, I was surprised, at my house, but not my house, my grandparents condo on the beach, what was i doing there. she had a gun, I had a gun, I could tell while we were making out that it was a setup, she was a setup, she was supposed to kill me, I had seen her gun, I had already pointed the gun at her, she admitted it, I was so saddened, but I loved her, I was infatuated with her, there was this bond between us, this karmic destiny, she had a job to do, she confessed it, but we still were fooling around, because of this tragic attraction,  I kissed her everywhere, all over her body, she laid there loving it, intoxicated by our chemistry, I kissed her arms and shoulders and underarms and she teared up from the beauty of the moment,  it was wonderful, she was crying, I began crying, from the beauty of it, she then went to kill me, in some way, how I don’t remember, yes I do, she had a gun, she could not kill me, she shot, it misfired, she stood there in silence, I stood up, I pointed the gun at her, sunlight was coming into the room now, it was becoming morning now, she stood next to the bed not facing me, afraid to face me, ashamed to face me, I knew I had to shoot her, I didn’t want to shoot her, but knew I had to, she had just shot at me, I would be dead now if her gun wouldn’t have misfired, she sobbed, I shot her in the chest from the side, she hunched over and started to convulse a bit, I stood there watching her, so that is what it looks like when someone gets shot I thought, I felt as though I was reliving something that was meant to be, something that had to be, I was only playing a part in it, a part I was obligated to play, I was miserable in that moment as I watched her convulse, I went to shoot her again, but my gun would not work. I ran out of the condo, down the stairs, all of a sudden I was a kid again, in high school or junior high school, I was sad lonely scared, felt like a rebel, felt like a bad kid, felt like it was me against the world, feeling like I didn’t fit in, running from everyone, running for my life, I had my gun in my back pocket and her gun in my front packet, I tried to hide it from the people on the street, all of a sudden I was in an industrial neighborhood, back in the old warehouse district where I spent my early twenties as a singer in rock bands, I was running through the streets when two guys saw me, I hid the guns, they saw the guns, I was overwhelmed with that same feeling I used to have as a kid, like I was an outlaw and everyone was out to get me or punish me or take me away for something that I had done but didn’t mean to do or didn’t intend to do, I had this feeling my whole life until I was about 25 years old, I was always since the day I could remember overwhelmed with a heavy feeling of guilt covering me like a blanket that everyone could see, and there I was in it again, the men stopped me, I tried to play it cool, casual, they saw through it, saw my gun, I showed it to them and I was surprised to see that it was a toy gun, a home made gun, it didn’t work, they let me go, but as I walked away they noticed the other gun in my back packet, they chased me, I ran, through the streets and through the warehouses, I realized that I was getting very near my old studio, that’s where I was, back in the same warehouse district where my studio was, I have dreamed of this old studio many times before in the last ten years since selling it, and everytime I dreamed of it, it was still operating, but without me, I know that in real life this isn’t true, it has long since been abandoned, I think it is a t-shirt factory now, but everytime I dream of it I go in as a customer, as the old owner, and there are new people running it, and I am always amazed that it is still running, why I dream this consistently year after year I do not know, but in this dream I was operating under the idea that I have in my dreams, that it was still there, and that somehow it was a safe haven, if I could just get there, I would be safe, I could call my uncle, and he would get me to safety, but the men saw me, they called to me, they tried to act like everything would be alright, but I knew they were just talking, that they were going to get me, I had no choice, I didn’t think about it, I hid behind a wall, took aim, and shot one of them right in the head, he disappeared, now I was done for, I had done it now, I was a fugitive, I had to get to the warehouse where my studio was, the other man got very close to me, I hid, but I could see him, he could see me, he aimed at me, I aimed the gun at him, he told me to put it down, why? so I could get shot? I aimed at him, but I could not get the sites to line up on my gun, why? this was my 357 magnum, it was the perfect gun, I had used a hundred times before, it had perfect sites, I knew this, what was happening? I tried to aim anyway, I finally got the sites to line up and I shot right at his forehead, but the gun misfired, I was a goner, I remember in that moment stopping for a moment to think about what I should do, do I run, I will get shot, I went to run and he ran towards me, I was done for, I would be caught, I woke up at that moment and found myself panting and breathing very heavy. For a few I laid there and tried to take it all in. it seemed so real. So important. But it nothing. It was only a dream. But I forced myself to get up and take notes on it.

I know what this dream means. I knew it within a few minutes of taking these notes what it was about. I laid back down and sobbed for a few minutes. In short bursts of agony and deep emotion. I just allowed myself to cry. because I knew what it was all about. and there was great relief in it.

Like this:

Like Loading...
Uncategorized Labels: dreams, meaning of dreams, transcendence diaries

article 2019-04-29 124621_10.html

January 20, 2004
Beav’s birthday today. Glad he was born. Thank God for it. I would die without him in my life. he is the light to my darkness.

Dreamed last night that somehow I ended up in studio/office/communal living space. just ended up there without knowing how or why I was there. I recognized everyone there. many people from my past. But not people I would normally hang out with. Not my ultimate group. but more like just associates. people I am friendly with but would never hang out with or be real close to. and the whole place is filled with them and somehow I am all of a sudden there working with them, and supposedly working with them. something had gone terribly wrong. what the hell was going on? Why was there? it was a gross feeling. It was a lost feeling. I am awake now. I understand the dream. I know what it meant. you cannot spend your time with people or in situations that are not ultimate for you. or you end up going down the wrong path. Like little Genevieve said the other day, I believe there may be more than one soul mate for everyone, just depends on which one you choose. I just sat there thinking about that for a moment. Wow. I think she may be right. Or when the Stallion used to tell me that she didn’t necessarily believe in just “one fate.” That if someone fucks up then they fuck up and there they are lost down some path they never should have gone down. I am starting to understand that more and more now. I used to think everything happens for a reason. That “you’re in the right place at the right time.” and all that. I don’t believe that so much anymore. I think instead that we can really just get off course sometimes and we are not in the right place at the right time. sometimes we can be way off track and everything is not meant to be. this fucking dream I had. what a nightmare. I kept roaming around the different rooms thinking what the fuck am I doing here? I don’t really like any of these people. Am I trapped? What is happening? Sometimes we can feel trapped in our lives. By our own circumstances.

[last night Columbia came over to watch a video. We tried to kiss. It didn’t work. I think it was the first time that I ever tried to kiss a girl and had it go so badly. I mean, seriously we tried and tried and just couldn’t get it to work. It was weird it was like trying to drive a car that wouldn’t work. It felt like we were robots. It was crazy. and the weirdest part is that we have all these things in common. For weeks I’ve been so amazed at how aligned we are on so many different things. she loves classical music and opera and brie and guacamole even. I mean, c’mon you’d think we’d be making this mad passionate love by now. but we just can’t get it to work. But the wonderful thing is that we decided to talk about it. I mean, imagine that. no blame or hurt or whatever. we just talked about it and laughed hysterically about it and both decided that we should definitely continue to hang out and become the best of friends but just not ever try to kiss again…]

Last screening: Angela’s ashes. Necessary viewing. What a film. Fantastically sad and moving. Even more so because it was true. I wrote on the large drawing pad next to my bed in huge letters the title of the film so I would have to wake up everyday and see it. just to remind me not to be like the father in the film. What a fucking loser. I think that’s one of the reasons why I have not ever got married or had children yet. just don’t want to fuck it up.

First talk show up went up on TTV: I’m into it. want to do more. http://www.transcendence.com/mediagallery.html

“I often dream about falling. Such dreams are commonplace to the
those who climb mountains, I read once. Lately, I dreamed I was
 clutching at the face of a rock, but it would not hold. Gravel gave way, I
 grasped for a shrub, but it pulled loose and in cold terror I fell into the
 abyss. Suddenly I realized that my fall was relative; that there was no
 bottom and no end. A feeling of pleasure overcame me. I realized that what
 I embody, the principle of life, cannot be destroyed. It is written into the
 cosmic code, the order of the universe. As I continued to fall in the dark
 void, embraced by the vault of the heavens, I sang to the beauty of the
 stars and made my peace with the darkness.”

 – Heinz Pagels, physicist and mountain climber

Like this:

Like Loading...
Uncategorized brotherly love, dreams, heinz pagels, kiss gone wrong, Labels: angelas ashes, meaning of dreams, transcendence diaries

A private little world for me… a private little world for you. The online journals and musings of singer-songwriter author and activist Ed Hale. The Transcendence Diaries have been posting regularly online since 2001. Comments are always welcomed. And so are YOU.

Recent Posts

  • Human Ancestor Skulls & Bones Found in a South African Cave Are Over 3.5 Million Years Old — 1 Million Years Older Then Science Originally Concluded
  • On Social Welfare & Safety Net Programs
  • New Song “On the Day They Overturned”
  • Another Shooting In America’s Longest War
  • In America’s War On Gun Violence, Another Congressman Bites the Dust
  • With America Now In a Civil War, After 20 Mass Shootings In a Week, Anyone Who Is Against Gun Safety & Gun Control Laws Is the Enemy
  • Be Sad About Yet Another Mass Shooting. But STAY MAD and Take Action
  • Studying God or The Divine Force From a Scientific Perspective
  • We Are Now Very Quickly Connecting With Each Other In Consciousness —Beyond the Realms of “Psychically”
  • Is Time Moving Faster Now?

Receive Transcendence Diaries Updates

   
 

Subscribe

* indicates required
  
  
  
    Email Format    
 
  
  
 
       
   
   

Join the Ed Hale Mailing List

Ask Ed Hale a Question

Follow Ed Hale Online

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Spotify
  • YouTube
  • Apple

To Follow & Like us

RSS
Follow by Email
Facebook
Facebook
fb-share-icon
Twitter
Visit Us
Follow Me
Tweet
LinkedIn
LinkedIn
Share

Follow Ed Hale on Twitter

My Tweets

Ed Hale on Facebook

Ed Hale on Facebook

Listen to Ed Hale on Spotify

Tags

Abraham Hicks ed hale and the transcendence activism America American imperialism Avatar avatar course CNN ed hale facebook finding God gaza god intuition investing iPhone Iran Iraq islam Israel itunes living in new york making music Music music video music videos new album new york palestine peace politics Rehearsal Relationships Religion Russia Scene in San Francisco Sedona Method social media songs songwriting spotify the adventures of Fishy Transcendence transcendence diaries United States

Categories

  • Activism
  • Alternative History
  • America at War
  • American Terrorism
  • Ancient History
  • Art and Entertainment
  • Business and Entrepreneurship
  • Consciousness Exploration and Expansion
  • Cosmology
  • Current Events
  • Economics
  • Environment
  • Evolution
  • Film and Movies
  • Friends and Family
  • Gun violence Gun Laws
  • Health and Wellness
  • Human Rights
  • Just Published
  • Life Hacks
  • Literature
  • Love Sex Romance
  • Metaphysics
  • Music
  • Music Videos
  • Musical Instruments & Gear
  • Nature
  • New World Order
  • Paranormal and Supernatural
  • Personal Expression Age
  • Personal Life
  • Physics
  • Politics and Government
  • Psychology and Human Behavior
  • Religion and Spirituality
  • Science
  • Social Media
  • Struggling artist lifestyle working for the man
  • Technology
  • Television
  • Terrorism
  • Uncategorized
  • Wealth Finance and Investing

Recent Comments

    August 2022
    M T W T F S S
    1234567
    891011121314
    15161718192021
    22232425262728
    293031  
    « Jun    

    Archives

    • June 2022
    • May 2022
    • April 2022
    • February 2022
    • September 2021
    • May 2021
    • April 2021
    • March 2021
    • February 2021
    • July 2020
    • June 2020
    • November 2019
    • October 2019
    • September 2019
    • August 2019
    • July 2019
    • June 2019
    • May 2019
    • February 2019
    • December 2018
    • June 2018
    • May 2018
    • April 2018
    • March 2018
    • February 2018
    • January 2018
    • September 2016
    • July 2016
    • June 2016
    • April 2015
    • March 2015
    • January 2015
    • December 2014
    • November 2014
    • October 2014
    • September 2014
    • August 2014
    • July 2014
    • June 2014
    • May 2014
    • April 2014
    • March 2014
    • February 2014
    • January 2014
    • December 2013
    • November 2013
    • October 2013
    • September 2013
    • August 2013
    • July 2013
    • June 2013
    • May 2013
    • April 2013
    • March 2013
    • January 2013
    • December 2012
    • November 2012
    • October 2012
    • September 2012
    • August 2012
    • July 2012
    • June 2012
    • May 2012
    • April 2012
    • March 2012
    • February 2012
    • January 2012
    • December 2011
    • November 2011
    • October 2011
    • September 2011
    • December 2010
    • October 2010
    • June 2010
    • December 2009
    • September 2009
    • April 2009
    • January 2009
    • September 2008
    • May 2008
    • December 2007
    • November 2007
    • May 2007
    • September 2006
    • October 2005
    • September 2005
    • August 2005
    • July 2005
    • June 2005
    • May 2005
    • April 2005
    • March 2005
    • February 2005
    • January 2005
    • November 2004
    • October 2004
    • September 2004
    • August 2004
    • July 2004
    • June 2004
    • April 2004
    • February 2004
    • January 2004
    • October 2003
    • September 2003
    • August 2003
    • May 2003
    • November 2002
    • October 2002
    • August 2002
    • July 2002
    • January 2002
    • December 2001
    • September 2001
    • April 218

    Subscribe

    • Log in
    • Entries feed
    • Comments feed
    • WordPress.org

    (c) (p) TM 2018 Transcendent Media Group LLC

    Idealist by NewMediaThemes

    %d bloggers like this: