Looking for meaning. I think this is the hardest part of it. looking for meaning. More later. But I still find it the most difficult challenge of being alive here. I’m not just speaking personally. Maybe I’m not speaking personally at all; but more intellectually. For personally I get the sensation at least most of the time that I have some sense of meaning in my life…. it is only when I stop to meditate on it that I begin to see that it is for the most part not much. That in the bigger scheme of things, in the human scheme of things, that there is not a lot of meaning to all of it…. that beyond love, beyond sex, beyond family and friends, beyond children, what is there for us?