Lunch with one of the Germans. He is about 60 or so. A wealthy retired attorney for some large company there. he knows all these senators in the states. Speaks a few languages. Well spoken man. Interesting. He shared much with me. told me not to wait too long to get married, that the longer you wait, the more faults you find in the person, and the pickier you are, and the less you are willing or able to change of yourself. I thought this was interesting. He thinks it is really awesome what I am doing all on my own going to all these different towns where my family is from and hanging out there. I told him I could feel the places, as if I had a memory in my body of being there before. He said he agreed. It is possible. Probably DNA in our bodies that we share with our grandparents etc. Told me not to forget to go their graves to see them. A good idea. I really like the German people. They are always very nice and intelligent.
In our afternoon conversation class we have five students. A Korean nun, a Brasilian nun, the retired German lawyer, a Ukrainian college student, a French student, and of course me, an American dilitant. It is so amazing to sit in this class and watch and listen to all of us from such different countries and backgrounds speak a new language. It is frustrating because no one can speak the other person’s native language, so this is rather difficult. We can only speak the Italian. but we find other creative ways of communicating. For example I may know some of the words in Portuguese that I can then tell the teacher what the Brasilian nun is talking about, because she uses like half Italian and half Portuguese when she speaks because they are so similar and it sounds very confusing. Or I can tell the German guy something in English and he can tell the teacher what I am trying to say because he speaks a little English etc. although we are all so different, we are all the same when we are in this class speaking Italian. it is a truly amazing experience to realize. How similar we are. Tomorrow I will talk to the Korean nun about eating cats. I would like to try cat one day.
Difficult day today. total funk kind of after speaking with Cleopatra last night and just realizing how much I am still dependent on her for things. Sometimes I sit in the shower and let the water run on me and pretend I’m dead. Then I snap out of it and pump myself back up. but it is interesting to see how sad or immobile one can get just from not hanging out with another person. But I must find ME. who am I? Without anyone else. who am I? I feel like I have spent so much of my life pretending to be something I am not. I just want to find ME. and depend on ME. and be in love with ME.
On the screen: my big fat Greek wedding. But it was in Italian. so maybe I got about a third of it. cute movie.