Quick because I’m tired. and I’m working on other stuff. its midnight. Movie with Tuesday. Lil Sis changed her name to Tuesday. I like the new one better too. Kamran from San Fran is making the most killer remixes of our shit from the NIC album. They are effing awesome. will post to the homepage. The war still rages with Cleopatra. spoke with Bas today for the first time in weeks. good talk. A little bit distant but hopefully we are getting there. I have learned that friendships along with family and our relationship with some higher power could just be the most important thing in the universe, at least to us, here, now. I have learned that we have to cherish our friendships and that means watching what we say and do in regards to our relationships. We can’t just go shooting our mouth off whenever and however we want to. as a man that’s a hard lesson to get with my temper, but I got it loud and clear. if I do ever win back my friendships with Bas and Ferret I will be blessed and thankful and will have learned some very important world lessons.

I went to that church again today. spent an hour or so talking to the minister there. just he and I. intimate. Personal. Good stuff. I love Sundays for this. just communing with our idea of God and with friends and family. quiet time. nap time. relaxing and regrouping time. can’t describe in words what this new found relationship with this higher power feels like. Really came out of the blue. Feels like heaven. Came at the perfect time. I’ve been going to sleep every night in this deep state of oneness with this sense of God, firmly rooted in it and bonding with it, embracing the mystery, loving the alien as bowie says,

So many girls I wanna make love with all the time all around me but still maintaining the status quo and trying to act like a gentleman.  man that’s a strange one, let me tell you. two voices at play in the brain at all times. There’s the ‘man I would love to kiss her, make love with her…’ and then there’s that other one…. like Mel Gibson in Braveheart… “wait. Wait. Wait….” only I’m still waiting for the “NOW!!!” so I just hold back and don’t do anything, knowing already from the past what the consequences could be. so I wait. But as a man it isn’t easy. the woman upstairs is always falling in front of me so I can catch her. or reaching up high for things to offer a sneak preview, you know, but I play it cool. women when they’re that age, early fifties, forget about it, they know all the moves, know what they want, and know how to please. That’s a Ferrari right there, made to be driven fast.  Only thing is that I’ve already bonded with her kids. I’m like an older brother to them.