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Tag: Religion

Making the World a Better Place Starts With Committing and Consistently Showing Up

December 21, 2022

Dearest Avatar friends, This morning, while participating in this “morning prayer group” thing on Zoom that started about 2 years ago with the onset of Covid and just kept growing and growing, I kept having this recurring thought: “what if we as Avatars approached our day to day lives with the same amount of commitment to participating as this morning prayer group does…? Imagine the possibilities…!”

I started to feel excitement inside.

Let me say for the record, since we all know each other from various Avatar Courses and that’s our particular connection point, that I’m not what one would call religious in any way, which admittedly does create a rather peculiar and surreal, if not downright controversial experience for everyone in this prayer group at times whenever we end up in more social conversations.

Everyone else who participates IS religious, grew up religious, believes or at least “has faith” in all the various tenets of some “religion”, and they take it very seriously. It’s serious reality to them. Whereas with me, I sincerely don’t get how anyone could say they think any of the ideas propagated by the thousands of manmade religions throughout human history hold any truth at all with a straight face. It all seems downright farcical to me, as I’m sure it does to anyone who has even the slightest knowledge of history and how these different religions originated.

But that comes with two caveats: one, I do and frankly always have had an intuitive feel and sense of something larger than us that seems to exist in our universe… a larger more all encompassing presence or consciousness that everyone can tap into, feel and connect with. The Tao if you will. A divine presence. Source. The Force. The Divine. Some kind of permanent pervasive energy that exists both outside of us and yet within us all at the same time. So I’m always interested in exploring that. Going deeper into it. To see what transpires….

Two, prayer in and of itself most likely didn’t start off as a religious practice in our slow and steady evolution as a species… even though it’s been co-opted by the major religions now, and commingled with ideologies like “worship” etc., In reality prayer is just another word for and form of focused attention on one particular thing, idea, thought or no-thought, with a variety of different goals… freeing or clearing the mind in order to transcend consciousness and experience pure awareness for a moment or two; or to connect with some kind of higher power within consciousness or pure awareness; or to seek comfort and serenity in times of trauma worry or stress; or to harness enough free attention particles in order to deliberately create something preferred for ourselves or someone else or the world or the environment around us….

As Avatars we understand perhaps better than anyone else the power of deliberately focused attention to create shift and transform reality. So the idea of prayer as a practice fascinates me. Regardless of religion, I dont see or feel any harm in prayer. Opposite. I see it as a noble goal, an intriguing ontological experiment from a scientific perspective… rather than a religious practice. The idea of committing to this experiment on a daily basis, again similar to meditation or even using the Avatar tools, is intriguing. A fascinating way to explore its possibilities and see what might transpire.

So…. This morning prayer group I speak of literally started out as a kind of survival or connection practice due to those sudden Covid lockdowns and the fear and unknowns associated with all of us suddenly faced with a mysterious global pandemic we knew nothing about. The future became very realistically uncertain for all of us in every corner of the world. A 5-10 minute gathering to “pray” with others, whether we even knew them or not, seemed an appropriate and beneficial idea.

The entire experience, done online over some kind of multi-person video service like Zoom or Skype etc. only lasts about ten minutes. That’s it. But every day Monday to Friday like clockwork. And not only has it not stopped after almost two years now, the attendance keeps growing. People from all over the US, many in different time zones. Everyone finds a way to show up for it. No matter where they are in the world or what “time” it is.

Consistency is the key to it I’ve noticed. No matter what happens to be “happening” in everybody’s day to day lives, or in the world at that particular moment, everyone finds a way to log into this thing. They might be out jogging, or at a parent’s house who just passed away, or in the car or on the subway, or just getting out of the shower (seriously), or still locked down in their home, by themselves or with a few family members….

But there they are, logged into Zoom, prepared to pray or meditate or at least listen for ten minutes; and then on with their day.

It’s been very educational for me, from a consciousness and cultural exploration perspective. It’s a fascinating little societal anomaly, this odd comittment people have to attend. But why?

As a longtime Avatar, we’ve tried a variety of different things through the years to try to encourage or grow “community” among all the Avatars all over the world, to increase connection, add consistency and (most excitingly perhaps) explore the possibilities of gathering the consciousness of many Avatars together at the exact same time to focus their attention on any one thing in order to create something(s).

Though at the same time, the tools themselves encourage a life deliberately lived, dependent on no one but one’s self. And that’s one of the most important and powerful aspects of awakening to the knowledge in the Avatar materials — suddenly not needing something or someone outside of one’s self in order to feel better or self improve or become more successful or happier or become enlightened or transcend….

For me there was enormous power in discovering this inherent ability we all possessed as a species but just never knew about because at some point we stopped passing it on to ourselves and generations that came afterwards. It was very freeing, liberating, empowering. Awakening to the reality that it was we who possessed all the answers and power to change shift transform create and discreate our individual and shared realities. Mind blowing really. As each of you already know.

But what about the power of community, connection with others, the potential for bigger reality shifts through working together, through harnessing the power of many working together toward one reality…?

In NYC we had a long-running Avatar Wizards group that met once a month. Going back about 15 years now. It went on for years. Because of its consistency and reliability, it really did foster a sense of community and for a few years got 25-40 people together from a rather large geographical area every month without fail. I can now say, looking back having had the experience, that it was an empowering experience, as well as a heart warming and comforting human connection and community experience as well.

My interest in sharing this with you all is in what could be achieved, in consciousness, and in each person’s day to day lives, and in the broader world that we live in and share with billions of others, if we as Avatars made that same kind of commitment to “regular practice”, just as this strange little morning prayer group i referenced earlier does..? Not a daily thing. But perhaps weekly, or monthly…

Consistency and reliability seem to be key. Those factors, consistency and reliability, come from commitment and dedication. Commitment and dedication come from a shared belief in the overarching mission or goal or perceived value or benefit, by at least one or two or more people.

I definitely feel a deep sense of perceived value and benefit from the regular practice of using the avatar tools; even just from regular reminders of the knowledge base that comes from re-reading and studying the materials.

So next up would be some kind of commitment to do or practice “something”. The kind of commitment that leads to the creation of something consistent and reliable for self and others. For whatever reason, it almost doesn’t seem to matter WHAT “it” is, if it is reliably consistent, people will tune in or participate in it. THAT is a mind blowing realization.

If a small group started that practice, freely permitted other like-minded folks to participate whenever they wanted to and invited others to do the same, the materials being studied more, the knowledge and insights being explored and digested more, the practice and using of the tools happening more, and more consistently…. imagine the possibilities.

Now that’s a noble goal. A potentiality that absolutely intrigues and fascinates me. Just we in this tiny little group live in 6 different countries. That is so random and yet cool. Based on the time zones, we as a group basically encircle the entire globe.

I propose that when each of us get a chance to contemplate it, let’s share what day(s) and time(s) we think might work best for us to do something…. Weekends keep popping up for me, that might “work best”…. But then I keep remembering that those morning prayer group Zooms take place at 8am on weekdays, which seems crazy considering most people have 9-5 jobs on weekdays. It goes to show that when the perceived benefit is strong enough, no normally idealized limitation of the “real world” will hold people back from committing to and doing something.

We already know that attention out, on making the world a better place, is a little known secret path to self improvement and making our own lives a better place. We also know the opposite is true: attention on self, a deliberate unselfish commitment to being the best we can be as individuals is a little known secret path to making the outside world a better place.

What if we did both? Simultaneously. Not limited to one in any moment in the typical binary fashion of going from one extreme to the other the way we as people tend to usually do — in one period working wholeheartedly on self and our own personal lives, then in a sudden “revelation” of guilt over how selfish we’ve been we jump to the other side and sacrifice everything in our personal lives for some bigger world transforming volunteer activity or cause… we all know the drill and how it plays out….

What if instead we do it more elegantly..? Every moment of every day is dedicated to taking care of self, as good stewards taking full responsibility for self and family and friends and community, knowing this is how healthy societies and civilizations thrive, but at the same time we commit to regular shared group gatherings and activities toward bigger goals with the intention to focus our collective attention on making the outside world we live in a better place? And we do it with dedication and commitment, creating a reliable stable reference point that in time is so dependable that it’s downright predictable.

From here the real question, the exciting next question , is what do we want to create? What changes and improvements do we want to see in the world? To start lead captain or lend ourselves to? I can think of many. And I dare say that inherent in the question is an understanding that the answer is not limited to just one.

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Activism, Consciousness Exploration and Expansion, Cosmology, Evolution, Health and Wellness, Metaphysics, Personal Life, Psychology and Human Behavior, Religion and Spirituality avatar course, avatar materials, commitment, Consciousness, divine power, god, human evolution, making the world a better place, meditation, ontology, prayer, prayer groups, pure awareness, regular religious practice, Religion, secret knowledge

article 2019-04-29 124625_4.html

June 26, 2005
Today I had an opportunity to feel what it felt like to get a “worry” and then in that moment to say to myself, “well wouldn’t it be cool if instead of fretting over this, I could just enjoy the ride, maybe learn something from it, maybe not, but either way, just enjoy the experience. What if I didn’t look at it like a situation that I need to be fretful over or worry over? What if I just took as part of the ride?

[what is it with new Yorkers calling Florida ‘flarida?’ don’t they see that there’s an ‘o’ in the word Florida? what is that? and what is it with that word anyway? Florida? if you look at it for a while and say it a few times, it takes on this whole other quality… Florida. what kind of a word is that anyway? Florida? have to look it up. be right back…

the other thing I was thinking about while listening to some bible reading in church today was this: what the hell are we doing reading or paying any attention to for that matter the history of the Jews? I mean, the old testament is after all nothing more than a series of thousands of years of Jewish history. And respectfully one can understand the importance these historical documents might hold for Jewish people. that’s their history. Their tradition. So if they want to sit around every Sunday and read it, that’s cool. we would expect it. good for them. But as I looked around the church this morning I’m noticing that there aren’t any Jewish people in the hall. We’re not from Israel. None of us. And I’m thinking, so what the hell are we all doing studying this story about this cat named Abraham who was about to kill his son Issaac as a sacrifice to his God? I mean, say what you will, but I think that’s pretty fucking psychotic, and this whole old testament is psychotic. Its just one crazy story after another. But that’s beside the point. But truly, what the hell does that have to do with us. I mean, as Americans I understand that we don’t have any tradition or real history that dates back too far because we’re too new of a country, so if we want to look for some kind of meaning or spiritual significance in old traditions and history texts like people do with the old testament then we’re going to have to go back to the ancient writings of whatever country we’re from. for me that would be England and Italy. For other people that might be Greece or Ireland or some African country or Scotland or Russia or where ever. But sitting around reading the old testament as a bunch of Americans/Europeans just makes no sense when you look at it in the bigger picture. Its quite silly and makes no sense.

Regardless of all of this, because of course I could go on forever, and millions have — go to Amazon.com or any library in the world and check out the religious & inspirational, philosophy, theology, or comparative religion sections; hundreds of millions of words have been penned by humankind espousing countless ideas over thousands of years about God and religion and the like and none of it is any more significant now than it ever has been; at least it won’t be until an actual God shows up or an afterlife magically appears (and trust me, I’m not one to doubt the ability of humankind to create anything we want to eventually just by sheer thought-energy and our pure desire for either to exist, but for now its all up in the air). So even these words… as important as they may seem to me, as they have to millions who have come before me, are absolutely meaningless when it comes to the greater questions that befuddle our limited understanding of life in this grand universe.  

But again, with all that said, I must make note here today as I have many Sundays prior, that this whole church thing I have been experiencing has been quite the miracle in my life as of late. call it what you will. I’m certainly not a religious man. I think I’m the only American alive who hasn’t seen Mel Gibson’s Jesus box office smash and if I’m lucky I never will. I don’t condone that kind of revisionist history. I don’t care what your religious beliefs are. you want to make a movie about an important religious figure then study your history first. and then make your movie. Tell the truth. or try to. with Jesus it would be hard because there are so many contradictory versions of his life. but at least try. show that you care. Show that there are at least two, three, four, different stories there that are all plausible. And until we address those we are never going to get beyond the myths that we continue to propagate century after century. No different than what the Romans or Greeks were doing with their God-myths. Nuf said.

So I’m certainly not religious, but something is happening to me and to my heart with this force that I call God. its speaking to me, its guiding me. and it feels great. I mean, I walk out of there every week kicking my heels and feeling truly blessed. God has really entered my life and he/she/it seems o.k. that I have these questions and concerns. And that my friends is what God is or should be all about. its all about the love. Its just love. And all these war mongering crazies out there killing people in the name of God are just the pretenders on the throne. One day the light will come to bear these truths to be self evident. Until then, we keep quiet and do our best to love each other as much as we can.
————————————————-
Great brunch today with tomcat and his new babe from Nigeria. Got started on the whole 9/11 saga. He is to forward me a bunch of research reports and studies of sept 11 that are being conducted now by research teams in Canada that are pointing to more cover-ups and more evidence that the American government was indeed behind the whole thing and that’s why Bush didn’t flinch when he heard the news. and why the entire bin laden family was secretly escorted out of the country on private jets as soon as the towers were hit. And more and more connections between bush family and bin laden family which everyone’s at this point and evidence that points to that guy who got beheaded in Pakistan Daniel pearl actually being a reporter who was about to blow the lid on the whole thing and show the American gov was behind it, so they got him and used that whole ‘we’re a bunch of scary crazy Muslims wearing masks’ thing as a scare tactic to win favor and support for the continued killing going on in Iraq and they killed him. hey who knows. I mean, really, at this point who knows. all we can do as tomcat says is keep building our own little nest egg and keep quiet. because if it is true all that means is that they’re going to come after us if we open our mouths too wide. And boy don’t we know that’s the truth. just ask David koresh. Oh yeah, we can’t, because they burned him alive with a hundred and seventy nine other people on live TV. At one point tomcat looks up at me and says, ‘but you know bro, for all of that it still bothers me. I still have to go work everyday and know that my money is going to pay for killing all these Iraqis. I’m paying 36% of my hard earned money in taxes and its going to pay for people dying over there.’ he sips his coffee. ‘We’re killing people. we have blood on our hands. All of us. every single one of us who is paying taxes. And we can’t do anything about it.’ I couldn’t have said it better myself. so I just looked at the tomcat as if I were looking in the mirror.

I didn’t say anything back to tomcat. I just let him sit there and stare at me looking for an answer. the problem is is that he is right. we can’t do anything about it. America has always invaded other countries. All big countries have. America started out by invading America. Remember we aren’t Americans. We are the invaders still. the occupiers. We only call it our land and our country because we have the biggest guns still. and then America invaded Mexico and now they call it Texas. America invaded Korea and grenada and Vietnam. The people of big countries don’t mind when they’re government invades other countries as long as they still have their Coke and their sex and the city and their p diddy and their fritos and queer eye TV. Big governments know this. so they keep on invading and they’ll use every trick in the book to keep on doing it. and our taxes will keep on paying for it because we can’t do a damn thing about it. we can bitch and moan and complain and protest but its not going to do any good. Vietnam taught us that.

Take a look at the countries that didn’t choose to invade Iraq: France and Germany. Well study their history. Shit they know what invading other countries gets you. eventual revolutions and if you’re not careful eventually retaliatory attacks on your own land. So they butt out. 9/11 taught us that. should have at least. but our government hasn’t learned that one yet. and maybe they never will until it really hits home. and for us, the people of this great twisted wreck of bitter irony that we are, that will be a sad fucking day. because the truth is that we the people aren’t invading any countries. We’re not even in Iraq. Our government is. in our names. And with out tax dollars. So if the blow of justice and revenge ever lands upon these tired soils it will not come as surprise to a few of us. that’s just the hand of nature dealing the cards out.

Last screening: batman begins. well they finally did it. Hollywood finally made a good batman movie. In fact batman begins is the first good superhero movie that’s ever been released. I know what you’re thinking if you’re a regular reader, because that would imply that you’re smart as hell and you don’t believe the hype. So you’re probably like me and saw that first batman piece of doo doo and felt so insulted and bored and over-hyped and over-sold that you wanted to run screaming out of the theatre and if you were lucky you never saw any of the sequels or any of the spiderman movies either. But I’m telling you, they finally got it right this time. Christian bale, the man everyone should remember from his excellent performance in the twisted masterpiece American psycho, made a great batman. Just fucking great. Remember when michale keaton was trying to play Bruce Wayne and batman and you felt uncool just being in the theatre watching it because it was so uncool. Well not with Christian bale. I’m not saying this was the godfather or anything. But trust me, it’s a good flick and good time. inspiring. This is what g lucas should have done with his sadly disappointing star wars follow-ups. Paper disguised as bread those were at best. But this little baby was pretty cool. and not so Hollywood. even though there are plenty of cool actors in it. of course liam neeson dies in it because I think he must have that written in his contracts – that he dies in every movie he’s in. Gary Oldman was good enough. Michale caine was surprisingly good, because for the past twenty years he’s just been so ‘fine just write me the check and give me the script and I’ll show up, I promise.’ But in this he’s pretty good. leaves a nice opening for a sequel. Lets hope they get it as good the second time as they did here.

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Uncategorized ethnicity, finding God, Labels: bible reading, Religion, transcendence diaries, women

article 2019-04-29 124625_25.html

April 2, 2005

The pope is dead. (I don’t like to use the term ‘the pope’ these days – as if everyone is supposed to know what ‘the pope’ means… if we said ‘the doctor’ when speaking about some witch doctor in Zimbabwe would everyone in the world know who that was? no. of course not. so instead let us offer the same respect to the catholic church as we would any other religion of humankind. Not more not less. Perhaps we should call him ‘the leader of the catholic church,’ which is, after all, in the end, all he is.) Tens of thousands mourn in St. peters square. It seems like just yesterday when Giovanna and I were skipping through St. Peters high on hash and Italian beer in the wee hours of the night, splashing in the fountains and jumping from square to square. “are you a catholic,” I ask her. “isn’t everyone a catholic here?” “of course I’m not a catholic,” she shouts back at me in her sexy thick Italian accent, as if I had offended her. she tells me how the idea that Italy is all catholic is a myth perpetrated by the church, that at this point in history the people of Italy are nothing now, they are no religion. They believe in God and Jesus but they sure as hell don’t believe in the catholic church. they are waiting to be liberated by some new religion or by a regenerated catholic church willing to represent the people rather than rule them with outdated patriarchic ideologies no longer relevant or acceptable to most. [looking back now I find it fascinating how many people stood in line at St. peters to mourn the death of this pope; certainly some of them must be catholic…]

She went on to tell me how many Italians are scared shitless of the catholic church [hey its not just Italians…] and would never dare speak up against them as we do in America—in that we are lucky in America she tells me, but at the same time they don’t go to church or pay much attention to anything that has to do with the church. Indeed this idea is so well known that I even had read the same thing in my American tour guide when first visiting the country. at this point the church is relegated to births and weddings and deaths and that’s about it. the people are waiting for something to inspire them and revitalize them once more. having been raised a catholic myself I noticed the same thing here in America. People didn’t seem to care much about the church here in the states. it seemed very matter of fact growing up… Catholics weren’t inspired; obligated maybe, but never inspired. The last dark veil around the beautiful face of humanity is religion; Catholicism and Islam and Christianity. We need to honor and respect our brethren’s beliefs but keep the truth in the back of our minds. Hold a candle for the light of truth to one day shine on humanity.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/04/06/pope.main/index.html

For me I stand in awe and amazement at how newsworthy this event appears to the world. the man stood against same sex marriage, abortion, birth control, women becoming preists – he still promoted this very sexist patriarchal heirechy where men were above women, the obligation of celibacy for the presithood.. which leads to… denial and then, well, you know what… and so many other modern and progressive ideas, and so to me, he stood against humankind itself in a lot of ways. Still, with that said, he united a lot of people and gave them hope… he was against the imperialist invasion of Iraq, good for him. he is against capital punishment, good for him. that actually makes sense given his stand against abortion, as opposed to most conservative Americans, who reveal the glitch in their thinking machinery by admitting being against abortion but pro-capital punishment… The person called the pope leads one of the richest, most powerful, sinister, and dangerous organizations in the world – the catholic church –  what’s left of the gasping roman empire still today; a thinly veiled euphemism at best to those in the know. most people don’t even know that not only is the catholic church one of the richest companies in the world, they are also secretly their own COUNTRY. Just over the top crazy evil shit this company/country-disguised-as-a-religion has pulled off over the last two thousand years… but they won’t mention this on CNN or any other news network. The truth is only uttered under the breath of those brave enough to even have the thought in their heads.

Check out this photo:

grim right? but why? All of the former American presidents have flown in to sit and stare at the passed on priest’s body… but none of them are catholic… what is going on here? any guesses? Would they do the same if the leader of the Hindu religion died? Would they do it if the ayatollah died? Prob not. o.k., obviously not. not now. but I bet they would do it if the dali lama died.. yes? but still they won’t help the dali lama in his quest to free his country from the clutches of tyrannical empirical china… well that’s because china has more money than Tibet. And the catholic church has more money than both…  the photo and the reality it portrays is quite startling… why are these men putting on such a show to mourn the loss of the leader of the catholic church when they weren’t even catholic?

Well, after studying his life the last few days maybe its just because he was such a great guy. and maybe its because he was so dedicated to promoting peace. He even issued a number of apologies on behalf of the catholic church over the last ten years for the horrors perpetrated by Catholics over the last two thousand years to the rest of humanity. That’s just fucking amazing. that alone makes him a good guy. better than many that preceded him. for sure.

I keep my eyes on the prize at the end of the right and wrong game when humans will no longer be satisfied being ruled by archaic dogma, but instead will choose self rule and self governance on all levels in their lives. But those days may still be quite a number of years away from us at this point in our slow evolution. People are religious I remind myself. This is real. It is I who lives in another world. the world is still in the world. and though I don’t see it, even I am in that world. I just pretend not to know it. people, I remind myself, are religious here on earth still. and dogma is king. Beaurocracy is king. Hierarchies are king.

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Uncategorized christianity, CNN, finding God, God's will, islam, Labels: Catholicism, Pope John Paul Dies, Religion, St. Peters square, the pope, transcendence diaries

article 2019-04-29 124622_5.html

July 23, 2004
In the bath this morning I found myself in deep meditation with God. it has been a very stressful time lately and morning meditations help bring things back into focus. communion with God is sacred to me. but it’s a tricky subject. I picture God as kind of sitting back snickering at me a bit, waiting for me to just accept it, while I ponder till the cows come home. I thought about Beaver and the last talk we had over he and Rat ‘discovering religion’ once they had kids. we were all home for the holidays. Beav and I were outside drinking cognac and smoking after dinner.
“yeah so mom told me you guys are members of your local church now….” I began.
“don’t start Fishy. I already knew you were going to say something. don’t.”
‘but dude. C’mon. the church? The catholic church? How could you?
‘I have my reasons man.’
‘and what are those? What are you thinking?”
‘I’m thinking I don’t want my girls to grow up without God and the kind of community that a local church can give them.’
‘fine. Granted. I can dig that. but the catholic church? The most evil empire in all of civilization?! And you become a member? How could you do this to me?’
‘its not about you man. Its about my family.’
‘what about all my preaching? what about my reputation. What if this leaks out?’
He just gave me this look and dragged on his cigarette…
‘Fine. Dude. I dig it. I see where you’re coming from. I really do. you know, just between you and me, I still take in a church now and then. I have to go incognito of course. They’d fucking burn me at the stakes if they ever caught me in a church…
‘They’re going to burn you at the stakes either way bro….  accept it. mom says she can’t sleep at night because she’s afraid that one night she is going to wake up to a call from the police that you have been murdered because of that crazy shit you write in your diaries.’
‘Yeah I know. I’ve been lucky so far. who knows? maybe the stuff I’m writing isn’t so crazy.”
“Sure, keep telling yourself that. maybe one day you’ll believe it. I think you’re crazy. According to you, anyone who is republican or democrat or religious or who watches TV or reads the paper or who listens to the radio is an idiot.”
“So?”
“So? Dude there are three hundred million people in this country and you’re basically talking about every single one of them, including me and mom. You’re asking for it. you’re an anarchist. You’ve always been an anarchist.”
“Yeah I know. But you’re wrong. not everyone is like that. people are changing.”
“You suffer me bro. your life scares the shit out of me. I don’t know how you live like that. so out there away from the mainstream.”
“I always have. But I’m always home for Christmas. Don’t let it worry you.”
“Can’t help it. you’re my bro. I want to grow old with you. I don’t want to see you on TV strung up dead on some fence by a bunch of rednecks.’
‘just my luck man. Those fucking bastards. Remember what they did to that kid just because he was gay?”
‘Yes. that’s what I’m talking about.”
“well I’m not gay man. At least not yet.”
“Not yet? dude you are so fucked up you fag.” Laughs.
“Dude can’t you guys join another church? A regular Christian church? I dig what you’re saying about needing that sense of comfort and security.”
‘that’s what I’m saying. I wanted my girls to have that as a foundation.’
‘but what about all the lies and the untruths that they are being fed now? and then when they get older they’re going to start realizing just like we did that they were totally brainwashed and hate you for it.’
‘maybe. Maybe not,’ he dragged from his cigarette. ‘maybe they’ll like it and stay with it.’
‘great. Just what we fucking need in this family. More religious people. like mom isn’t bad enough. And just what we need in the world. more brainwashed religious walking around spouting lies and placing their unfounded judgments on everyone. Great.’
‘Fishy.’ he looked me in the eye. ‘I know what you mean. O.k.? but I’m not raising my kids alone. You know what I mean? There’s two of us. it’s a family. There are two of us making the decisions here. you know? it’s a compromise.’
‘well when I have kids my kids are going to make fun of your kids…’ I laughed. ‘they’re going to KNOW the truth, and your kids are going to be blind zombies thinking that God created Adam and eve in the year 4000 BC and they’re going to feel awfully confused when they start learning about evolution and all that. its not going to be pretty.’
‘No. I’ll take care of that.’
‘how?’
‘because man. Give me more credit. I’ll teach my girls what’s up. I’m not going to let them take away all that. I’m going to teach them the truth. But the church is going to give them a sense of values and morals and a foundation that they can build off….’
‘like the same kind of values and morals we learned going to catholic school all our lives? Dude. You and I both know how horrible that was. There weren’t any values or morals in those schools. It was pure hell.’
‘I agree with you bro. I really do. my girls aren’t going to get that. but hopefully they’ll get a good sense of community that we just can’t get without church right now.’
‘I know what you mean man. But I just can’t help but believe that we can still get that good warm sense of comfort and community without a church. At least not the normal American Christian churches. I just don’t believe in it anymore… too much damage has been done over the centuries…’
‘I agree with you man. But like I said, there’s two of us now making the decisions. We’re cool. don’t worry about it.’
‘easy for you to say. I just don’t like the idea of more people coming into the world thinking that the church is the right way and all the other ways are the wrong way. I don’t like this idea that those people carry around that think that there’s one God and all the other ones are false gods…’
‘I know dude. But isn’t that what you do anyway? In your own way?’ I thought about what he said.
‘o.k. yeah. I’ll give you that. I’m guilty of the same thing in a way. but I don’t have any labels or identities or rules attached to my God man. IT just is. You know?’
‘as well it should be. I know that man. And my girls will be the same way. just as I am. And you are.’
‘yeah man. That’s the fucked up part about religions right now on the earth. They all think they’re the right one and everyone else is wrong. its fucked up. it causes too much pain for everyone. All their rules and dogmas… its always about who’s right and who’s wrong. and next thing you know, someone’s getting murdered or locked in prison or blown up. its horrible. Always has been… I just thought that our family was different…’
‘we are different Fishy. trust me on this one. I know what I’m doing.’
‘I trust you bro. its cool. I just had to say my peace.’
‘cool man. Thanks for understanding. Now please don’t become a fag.’ Big laughs.

I sat there in the lukewarm water of the bath. I bowed my head. “God help me to find within myself a deep and meaningful spirituality that fulfills me completely but that is honest and real. I won’t have any of the manmade stuff. you and I both know it. But we both also know that I cannot continue to live without something. show me who you are. If you are. I’m here and I’m waiting. Show me God.”

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Uncategorized Catholic Church, discovering religion, Labels: being thankful, morals or religion, morning meditations, Religion, transcendence diaries

article 2019-04-29 124621_5.html

January 25, 2004
I was parked on the side of the road downtown with the top down. Smoking a cigar and typing. I want to do a series of interviews with priests and nuns and other religious leaders I have met over the years. Been collecting these various people for a long time. I was creating a list of questions for them. Things like, do you think God is a man or a woman? Or is he just beyond all that in your mind? Do you regret not having sex all your life? do you think that not having sex all your life has brought you closer to God?

I’m typing away. just totally absorbed. And then I hear this voice like right next to me. and I jump. Totally freaked out. and I look up and there’s this lady, obviously a homeless lady standing next to the car. “didn’t mean to scare you sir.” me a sir? that’s funny. “But do you have a cigarette?” I was startled. “Oh no, I don’t smoke.” I say with this cigar hanging out of my mouth. She gives me this confused look, like I’m crazy or something. “But do you need some money?” her eyes light up. she is sniffling. Eyes all bloodshot. “yeah I could use some!” she says. I reach into my pocket. Fuck all I have is a twenty left. “Here you go.” I give her the twenty. She is so happy. I don’t tell Bas or Cleo or Beaver or mom or anyone that I give away so much money all the time to strangers. they would think I’m fucking crazy. I can’t even pay my bills the last couple of months. So broke these days… i could use that money to eat… but then, im not wandering the streets asking people for money. At least not yet… but that’s not the point. Face it, I am crazy in that respect. Is there such a thing as irresponsible giving? If there is, then I’m one of the biggest offenders…. perhaps there’s a 12 step program… but when someone is in need, and no matter you’ve ever thought or been told, anyone who’s gotten to the point where they are asking total strangers for money is in need, and so I don’t know, but… maybe its an irresponsible responsibility that we all have to give to those of us who have reached that point in their lives… something like that.

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Uncategorized giving money to the poor, Labels: believing in God, Religion, transcendence diaries

article 2019-04-29 124618_14.html

November 14, 2002

I have been thinking more about the whole thing about lying and humans the last few days. It is said that everyone lies. That if you say you don’t lie, then you’re a liar. Funny. Because chances are it’s probably true. But I think there is a big difference between certain kinds of lies. Maybe. maybe not. That’s another story. But for many a lie is not that big of a deal. But for certain there are some people who attempt at least never to lie. They are loyal to the truth as a cause. As the most holy cause we know of. And indeed I would say that the truth would be the most holy virtue we can attempt to uphold as human beings at least right now in our present state of evolution.
Religion is considered holy, which is ironic at best, because it is a system founded on lies, or at least half truths, and wannabe truths. People fight and kill for their religious beliefs. we have all heard the phrase ‘holy war.’ Again, ironic at best. if a person is being honest with themselves chances are they probably aren’t fighting a holy war. They are probably fighting for land or for their country or for the protection of their home. But they are tricked into believing they are fighting for their religion or for their God, usually by their government. Governments are notorious liars. That’s their job. Military men are trained liars. That’s part of their job. You learn to become an expert liar, in case you get caught, in case you are overheard by the enemy, or the people you serve. You have to lie. Think Oliver north, Ronald Reagan, George Bush Sr. think Lyndon Johnson and the Tonkin scandal during Vietnam. Think anything that has to do with government or war or military. All through the eighties the American government secretly supported Sadaam Hussein, gave him money and weapons, yes even chemical and biological ones, because they were in a war with Iran, and we wanted them to win because we were so against Iran at the time. but they did this in secret. They consistently lied about it to the American people. ask your average American on the street if they know about this and they will look at you like you are crazy. Were they wrong for lying to the people? I don’t know. I’m too new to all of this to pretend I know the answer. I don’t know if I will ever know the answer to that one. should governments be allowed to lie to their people? I don’t know yet. That’s all I can say.

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Uncategorized George Washington Cherry Tree, half truth, Holy war, JFK Marilyn Manroe, John F. Kennedy, Labels: American Government, lies, lying, Presidential Lies, Religion, Sadaam Hussein, transcendence diaries

A private little world for me… a private little world for you. The online journals and musings of singer-songwriter author and activist Ed Hale. The Transcendence Diaries have been posting regularly online since 2001. Comments are always welcomed. And so are YOU.

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