Skip to content
TheTranscendenceDiaries

TheTranscendenceDiaries

Thoughtful musings for the unabashedly aware and ravenously curious intellectual and intelligentsia

  • About the Transcendence Diaries
  • About the Author
  • Subscribe or Donate
  • The Transcendence Manifesto
  • Ed Hale News
  • Videos
TheTranscendenceDiaries

Month: July 2004

The First Time I Saw Her…

July 30, 2004
Went to a fabulous party tonight celebrating the launch of a friends new shoe line. thirtieth floor of a posh tower on Brickel with the most amazing view of the ocean on one side and the city on the other. Reminded me of why we like Miami so much sometimes. There was this girl there. she was great. We got on well immediately. It was like a movie. We’re getting married on Monday. A few girls there who were vehement readers of the transcendence diaries. “Hiiiii Fiiiishy,” holding out their hands. “We love your diaries.” “thanks.” “I have to log on every Monday at work to see what’s going on.” “To see what crazy thing you’re going to say next…” “Fishy. Is all that stuff true that you write about?” “Yep. It sure is. Except for the parts I make up…” they look at me kind of funny.

Great talk with the stallion today. good kid. gave me some good advice on moving to nyc. Thinking of just heading up to sublet for a while. find a place easier. Although we were once a non-couple, or something; never quite sure what we were, we are now finding a common ground based on our mutual admiration for one another and becoming friends. Its cool.

the irony of our situation does not escape us. we met at a black tie affair for the arts. Were seated straight across from one another. I found her to be so beautiful the first time that I laid eyes on her that I could not look at her in the eye. Have you ever had that happen before? I was just too blown away by her physical beauty. She didn’t look at me much either. I bonded with her boyfriend and did my best to be a gentleman and not stare at her. or at least not get caught staring at her. later I learned she did the same thing. Six months later we met again on the Internet and fell madly in love only discovering later that we were one and the same people from the party. Serendipity at its most sublime. Although we had the best sexual experiences I had ever had when we were together —the stallion is a true goddess. Something other worldly about her sexual prowess. She could give lessons in it. But that would be too low for her. she could be worshiped for it. Like a deity of sex. She’s that sensual, that skilled, that passionate. —anyway, there were a few things that prevented us from carrying our brief obsession any further. For one thing, she drank instant coffee in the morning. Which I found terribly distasteful. She didn’t like to wear perfume which I found terribly unromantic. And she used the word dildo. Which I found terribly nauseating. When I protested and politely asked her to refrain from such language in my presence, as any person does who is guided by a sincere set of shallow double standards that he was obviously raised with and just never bothered to take a look at or acknowledge as a grown adult in the world, she came at me protesting herself that she enjoyed using the word dildo and that she in fact thought it was a cute word. She then uttered the word ‘cock’ and asked if I was next going to ask her not to use that word either. At which point I immediately made my way to the door, never to see her again. Yes my friends, call me a fool. But I’ve done worse.

There was the story of Little Havana. We met one fine day when she interviewed to be my new personal assistant. I fell for her immediately as I do with all women who interview with me, but felt like she was definitely not in the running to be my new assistant. She made some comment like “so what? I’m like the person who does all the shit that you don’t want to do?” so she didn’t get the job. But she was sexy as hell. I thought of her often. I was advised my the Ferret and the Tortoise both being upstanding attorneys who were only looking out for my best interest that I should indeed never call on her socially for fear of being sued for some strange sexual harassment twist.. who knew what could happen. better to play it safe they advised me. so I never called.

A few weeks later we met again coincidentally at a concert I was giving.. coincidence? Who knows… but as soon as I got off stage I showed her a piece of paper I still carried in my pocket with her name and number on it over a month later. I told her we must go out. she agreed and invited me to her apartment that evening. actually she told me over a few shots of tequila later that evening that ‘I’m not going to fuck you.” which I later learned in ‘Latin girl talk’ means that ‘I want to fuck you. I’m going to fuck you. and if I do you better not think I’m a slut because I’ve already told you that I’m not going to fuck you. So if we do end up fucking, its not something I normally ever do because I’m a good girl but I just got caught up in the moment…’ something like that anyway. I’m still learning the ways of the Latin girls. Very different than the American girls who usually just grab you and start making out with you and don’t say anything at all. or the Italian girls who just grab your crotch and jam their tongue down your throat. But that’s a different story.

Like this:

Like Loading...
Uncategorized falling in love, Labels: black tie affair, latin girls, romantic beginnings, serendipity, transcendence diaries

article 2019-04-29 124622_1.html

July 29, 2004
I am in my usual Cuban bar. Having just recently moved here to sobe, this is the place that comes the closest to home. Smoking a Cuban, writing, and drinking a mojito. When I first showed up here a few weeks ago, whipped out my laptop, threw it up on the table, ordered a drink, and started madly pounding away, stogies dangling out of my mouth, I don’t think the Latinos knew what to make of this strange gringo who sits in the corner by himself. What the hell is he doing with that computer? Is he like a spy or something? they once charged me $25 for a cappuccino. I thought perhaps to frighten me away. This was about two weeks ago. I politely approached the manager, in Spanish of course, ‘hey what’s up guys? Great cappuccino and all but I was wondering why it was $25? Isn’t that a lot for a cappuccino? Perhaps it was a mistake?’ they assured me that it was indeed the right amount, surprisingly enough, but that they would spot me a few drinks on the house for the inconvenience. And remarkably I haven’t been charged for a drink since, and I come here every night. Go figure. Only in Miami. 

I have my own table now. In the corner. I’m greeted like an old friend. I sit for hours and smoke and write and drink. Bands come on and off the stage. Various patrons come and go. and no one notices me in the corner. The place is packed tonight. A truly sick afro Cuban band plays salsa and meringue and standards; drums congas bass and piano. There are a few couples dancing around the room like crazy. and up on TV is John Kerry delivering his acceptance speech to the democratic convention. Or as the TV actually reads here in this club in Miami: DISCURSO DE ACCEPTION DE John Kerry. Of course his speech is actually being dubbed in Spanish. And I am thinking to myself, ‘what a crazy place. where else can you sit in a public place and type on your laptop, smoking a cigar, drinking mojitos, while a live Cuban band plays meringue, couples are dancing salsa, and John Kerry is on TV giving a speech dubbed in Spanish? Man this is one crazy place. it is truly a world unto itself.

Current spin: brmc. Great album. Really cool. reminds me of Jesus and Mary chain, love and rockets, the stooges. But its still new and cool. a lot of comparisons to this from critics regarding the sleep with you album. Coming from the same schools with that one I guess. 

Like this:

Like Loading...
Uncategorized brmc, cigars, Labels: bilingual miami, meringue, Miami Scene, salsa, transcendence diaries

To Vote or Not To Vote?

July 28, 2004
Watching the democratic national convention every day on the Internet. Caught up a bit tonight till about 4 in the morning actually, watching everyone deliver their speeches. Dare I say I almost feel hopeful? I guess compared to what we have now, even the democrats seem inspiring.

Later in the day, I’m in the office and everyone is abuzz about the speeches the last few days. Al Sharpton and Bill Clinton and of course jimmy carter are the speeches that are the most brought up. People cannot stop talking about them. the republicans may have stolen the white house, but they don’t have many current heroes to speak of unfortunately. Except John mccain, who of course is a hero and should be joining up anyday. Hehe. Old guard. Old tricks. Old hat. No one that people look up to in their party anymore now that Reagan passed on. but the democrats on the other hand…. if you’re a young idealist patriotic American or even just a ultra-concerned-liberal citizen of the world, the democratic party offers so many heroic visionaries and leaders. Bill and Hillary are basically rock stars now, for better or worse. All the guys in the office were on the Internet researching to see if Clinton could serve again. They were actually on the Internet researching the constitution. [we looked it up: he cannot run again for president. Congress passed an amendment in the fifties limiting it to two terms max because of FDR getting elected four times consecutively. BUT Zeke reminds me that he CAN run for VP under someone else just to grab another eight years if he or we wanted him to. Let us hope it never comes to that. [as we well remember, even though I volunteered for his election campaign as a bright-eyed young college kid, the minute he got on TV and lied I was one of the first to jump on the ‘o.k. impeach that fucker’ band wagon. I have no tolerance for liars, unless perhaps we’re talking about matters of national security. Other than that, get the hell out of dodge pal.] I think there are probably plenty of guys who can do just as good of a job or even better. But boy what a speech he delivered. It was spellbindingly to the point and coherent and intelligent and just a wee bit smarmy.] This guy says to me ‘man I don’t know why we can’t just get bill back for a while. at least till things smooth out a bit. Just another four years.

But its true. the dems now, they have Al Gore, Jimmy carter, Ted Kennedy has always voted for the people, so he’s a true liberal hero. Al Sharpton? Forget it. that guy was awesome. Jesse is always good. he’s like ‘take it for granted kind of good;’ that’s how good of a speechmaker he is. John Edwards is like the wunderkind of the party; the future Clinton. But hopefully he’ll keep it in his pants, or at least do it somewhere other than the oval office. They even have Ronald Reagan’s son Ron. Basically a rock concert of bright idealistic heart on their sleeve liberals. I can’t say I’m not against any of it. [I mean, lets try to forget that they killed 180 innocent Americans in Waco, Texas under Clintons watch and no one did shit about that. so because of that, McVeigh retaliated at Oklahoma city. yes times are changing. People are fighting back now. And I’m not going to bring up all the rumors of them selling military secrets to China…] But at least the dems have heroes. Real American heroes. People like us. I’m not saying these people are any less shifty than the other lot of slimy script reading hand shaking short-hairs. I mean cheese is cheese. Occasionally cheese can be good; like brie or Roquefort or feta or mozzarella. Yum! But of course American cheese just sucks. And both parties are super American-cheesy. No taste and filled with artificial shit and preservatives. Hence to belong to either party at this point is choosing hamburger over steak. But man, where is the fucking steak? That’s probably what a lot of Americans are wondering. Well perhaps in Kerry we have a bit of steak. We’ll just have to wait and see.

But you get the feeling that the repubs are those people in school who were just full of shit and didn’t understand anything about life. they were the sheep who drank their milk and watched their TV and spoke their lies when they had to. just to keep face and keep the money in the right hands. Whereas with the dems, you find this kind of idealism…. this underdog fight for the rights of your fellow man kind of thing that I can relate to a lot more readily. Normal people that you can talk to and talk about issues with. People that care about other people. .. and of course they have all the actors and singers and writers too. I couldn’t imagine being an entertainer and being a republican. i guess you just have to keep it a secret so you’re not embarrassed…. imagine if they ask you to speak at their convention and you’re like ‘uh well yeah I mean that’s a great idea but uh yeah I’m uh going to be out of the country that week. gosh I’m really sorry guys….’ . I can not imagine being up there at the republican convention and trying to come up with good things to say about this current administration. You would just have to throw truth to the wind and just say fuck it and come up with a bunch of bullshit platitudes and hollow words about values and strength and courage and all that other empty crap.

Like this:

Like Loading...
Uncategorized democrats, DNC, generation x, john edwards, john kerry, Labels: 9/11 movie, mtv rock the vote, politics, republicans, transcendence diaries, voting

article 2019-04-29 124622_3.html

July 27, 2004
I was on the roof. My secret haunting ground lately since the move. My mind is constantly feeling as though it is going crazy. I cannot recall with much accuracy how many times I have thought about jumping off the roof of a tall building or shooting myself in the head in the last three weeks. This is what happens when nothing is going on…’ I think to myself. ‘this is what happens when it feels like there is no solid ground beneath your feet. [the king screams at me over the phone from la, ‘dude you sold a house that you love, you sold a car that you loved even more, all so you could move to a city you love… so what the fuck are you doing living in a tiny one room apartment in a city that you hate with everything you own in storage?! I would have blown my brains out a month ago if I were you living like that. Pack your fucking bags, book a ticket, and get to New York! Live at a hotel if you have to until you find an apartment, but carry this thing through to the finish line man!’]

I think about eating. But as always, I’m not hungry. I have lost ten pounds in the last month. Funny. I know people who would do anything to lose ten pounds. But I just can’t eat when I get stressed out like this. my stomach always feels like it is in knots. Not upset. Just full all the time. can’t complain about it. it’s a good look. I feel like I haven’t slept in months. Maybe years now. circles under my eyes. again, a good look. Can’t complain. The vampire look is always in fashion. But I pause to think about how fast I am aging like this. stress, anxiety, panic, pain, general unhappiness cannot be good for you. I look like I’ve aged ten years in the last six months. I think about heading off to morocco for a while. why I’m not sure. It keeps coming up for me all the time. Maybe that trip to Paris for six months after all. i remember that French is the last of the romance languages left for me. [although recently a chick from Romania told me that Romanian is also considered a romance language. I’m still not going to learn it though.] Gotta learn French; seems impossible. So fucking UNphonetic! But why not do it now. I taste the idea for a few seconds. Great; I’m just going to sit in some strange school again for six months and travel about another city aimlessly as if I’ve got no life and nothing to come home to. Nah. I may not have a home now it is true, but I have a life.

Mom says your home is you and wherever you are. Mom is right. I thought about calling Beav just to shoot the shit, maybe mom, or Madelyn, or the Little Tree, or the King. But instead I opened up my laptop and started viewing those movies of Giovanna that I took in Rome last summer. I hadn’t heard from Giovanna in about six months now. we were supposed to get together this august for a week or two. Thought I’d watch her in the videos for a while. but that just made me remember why I hadn’t called. Smart, sweet, sexy. Great body. But not the one. for some reason I can’t go there anymore. Not even in the moment. you’d think I could at least fake it. Being faithful to the love of your life is hard enough when you are together. but when you haven’t met yet, its even harder. But somehow it isn’t even a choice now. I think to myself sometimes, ‘I wonder what she’s doing? Is she getting some?’ But somehow I have found it rather difficult to even fake it in the moment, even to get some. Bas says I should shut the fuck up. that I’ve gotten more than any man should be allowed in one lifetime. Yes my friend you are probably right. but my mind flashes to an image of me in a hotel room with a whip, some chocolate, a case of Champaign, a video camera, and ten naked Swedish eighteen year olds… so if I’m so ready to meet the ONE, what the hell is all of that? I wonder if thoughts like that ever go away for us men? Maybe we’re just stuck with them forever.

Like this:

Like Loading...
Uncategorized family time, finding the one, Labels: bucket list, learning french, roof top, thoughts, transcendence diaries

The Orgin of “Ambassador”

July 24, 2004
I was in the elevator and a terribly gay man began speaking with me. I certainly don’t mean that it is terrible that he is gay; nor that we were speaking. better a terribly gay man than a wickedly ugly woman or an totally boring straight man. Straight men do tend to be more boring than gay men, don’t they? I just mean that he was terribly gay. Or perhaps he was fantastically gay. Yes; better. He was indeed a fantastically gay man. If I were a gay man, I would want to be as fantastic as he was. Tight jean shorts. Tight short sleeve crew shirt. and of course he was carrying a picnic basket. Now if we weren’t in South Beach, another man could get freaked out by that. but we are on South beach. So I’m past my getting freaked out phase. We had a nice chat and I watched him the whole time; as always the two of me: the reluctant participator and the eager observer. [forgive me if you’ve noticed; I am in love with the semi-colon as of late. I never understood the semi-colon before recently; now I cannot help but use it every chance I get.] 

So yes I’m watching this guy and we’re talking. and he’s holding that picnic basket like he’s little red riding hood. I notice up close for the first time in a while that gay mean speak differently. You can tell they are gay, or at least have a proclivity towards it, just from the way that they speak. Also from their hand gestures and the way they walk. and often from the way they stand and the looks they make with their faces. Gay men are notorious for that bitchy ‘don’t bother me, I’m hot, this service sucks, and I’m tired’ look on their face, whereas straight men are more known for their ‘yo what’s up ladies, God its fucking hot, dude you think that chick was looking at me?’ look on their faces. I love gay men because you get all that wonderful inspiring feminine energy without all the games. Not that gay men don’t play games; from what I hear, they’re the worst. But I’m not attracted to them in the least so I could give a shit about their games. If a gay guy starts playing games with you, and you’re straight, you just tell him to fuck off. Now if a woman starts playing games with you, and you’re straight, forget about it, you’re in trouble. Next thing you know, you’re rolled up in the fetal position, or you’re questioning the very meaning of life itself, or you end up in prison or something. Women can snare us into any number of games just from looking at us in a weird way.

Pause for a commercial break…

[this reminds me of this one Avatar course I was on in the deep north woods. There were about a thousand Wizards that had gathered for ten days to process and create the world a better place. at one point about five days into it, two of my closest straight friends were in huge creations about being gay; all of a sudden they just decided that they “might be gay” and it was something they needed to really look into. the king approaches me in an emotional panic… “your majesty, what is troubling you good sir?” I asked. “Good ambassador…” he paused, “Dude,” “yes?” “Dude I need to talk to you. for real. Without the code names…” “Without the code names?” I exclaimed, “O.k. I will try. you are upset aren’t you?” “Dude hear me out. I think I’m gay…” “What man?! Whatchou talkin’ ‘bout Willis?!” “Dude I’m serious. I’ve thought a lot about it and I think I might be gay… you think that’s weird?” “No dude. I think its normal. But if you want to fuck me up the bum I’m going to think that’s weird.” “Dude. I’m serious. I really need to explore this…” “Fine. How can I help?” “I don’t know. I just need time to explore this and really see what’s up for me…” “O.k. fine but this doesn’t mean that you’re going to have butt sex with the Court Jester; because that’s really gross… I hear he’s thinking he’s gay also. I don’t know what got into you guys…” [for the record, since its asked so much, this is how I officially got the name the Ambassador. There’s a big group of us who live all over the world and we call ourselves ‘the tribe.’ We get together whenever we can, usually through Avatar courses or some other feel-good, new-age function. One year we all got together to walk on hot coals with Anthony Robbins. Things like that. Anyway, we all have these codenames. There’s the King. He’s how we all know each other. Through him. So that’s why we call him the King. There’s the Queen, his wife of course. There’s his Mistress. A long story. The Mayor. The Court jester. The Bard. The Spy. Etc. I’ve always been the social coordinator of our group, go figure, and so I was endowed with the codename of the Ambassador. So that should put a final end to that question.]  Anyway, so the king continued: “I just need to feel into this more bro…” “Dude feel into this… look over at Serena there…” I pointed to Serena who was standing in the corner talking to someone… “ she was wearing a tight fitting flowered skirt. “Now dude, look at Serena’s ass. tell me when you see it. when you really see it.” “I see it.” “Now dude. What are you thinking while you’re looking at her ass?” He laughs sheepishly… “I’m thinking how her ass would look naked or in her panties.” I smiled. “anything else?” “Yeah. I’m thinking about bending her over and doing her..” “Damn right you are bro. as well you should. Who wouldn’t be? you see? You’re not gay.” “How do you know?” “Dude. I roomed with three gay guys in college for a year. me and three gay guys for a whole year. trust me. you’re not gay. Gay guys don’t think about bending over and doing every girl they see. We do. Trust me. you’re not gay.” We high-fived and that was that.]

And now return to our regularly scheduled program  

Like this:

Like Loading...
Uncategorized gay men, gay men stereotypes, Labels: avatar course, nicknames, same sex marriage, sexuality, South Beach, straight men stereotypes, transcendence diaries

article 2019-04-29 124622_5.html

July 23, 2004
In the bath this morning I found myself in deep meditation with God. it has been a very stressful time lately and morning meditations help bring things back into focus. communion with God is sacred to me. but it’s a tricky subject. I picture God as kind of sitting back snickering at me a bit, waiting for me to just accept it, while I ponder till the cows come home. I thought about Beaver and the last talk we had over he and Rat ‘discovering religion’ once they had kids. we were all home for the holidays. Beav and I were outside drinking cognac and smoking after dinner.
“yeah so mom told me you guys are members of your local church now….” I began.
“don’t start Fishy. I already knew you were going to say something. don’t.”
‘but dude. C’mon. the church? The catholic church? How could you?
‘I have my reasons man.’
‘and what are those? What are you thinking?”
‘I’m thinking I don’t want my girls to grow up without God and the kind of community that a local church can give them.’
‘fine. Granted. I can dig that. but the catholic church? The most evil empire in all of civilization?! And you become a member? How could you do this to me?’
‘its not about you man. Its about my family.’
‘what about all my preaching? what about my reputation. What if this leaks out?’
He just gave me this look and dragged on his cigarette…
‘Fine. Dude. I dig it. I see where you’re coming from. I really do. you know, just between you and me, I still take in a church now and then. I have to go incognito of course. They’d fucking burn me at the stakes if they ever caught me in a church…
‘They’re going to burn you at the stakes either way bro….  accept it. mom says she can’t sleep at night because she’s afraid that one night she is going to wake up to a call from the police that you have been murdered because of that crazy shit you write in your diaries.’
‘Yeah I know. I’ve been lucky so far. who knows? maybe the stuff I’m writing isn’t so crazy.”
“Sure, keep telling yourself that. maybe one day you’ll believe it. I think you’re crazy. According to you, anyone who is republican or democrat or religious or who watches TV or reads the paper or who listens to the radio is an idiot.”
“So?”
“So? Dude there are three hundred million people in this country and you’re basically talking about every single one of them, including me and mom. You’re asking for it. you’re an anarchist. You’ve always been an anarchist.”
“Yeah I know. But you’re wrong. not everyone is like that. people are changing.”
“You suffer me bro. your life scares the shit out of me. I don’t know how you live like that. so out there away from the mainstream.”
“I always have. But I’m always home for Christmas. Don’t let it worry you.”
“Can’t help it. you’re my bro. I want to grow old with you. I don’t want to see you on TV strung up dead on some fence by a bunch of rednecks.’
‘just my luck man. Those fucking bastards. Remember what they did to that kid just because he was gay?”
‘Yes. that’s what I’m talking about.”
“well I’m not gay man. At least not yet.”
“Not yet? dude you are so fucked up you fag.” Laughs.
“Dude can’t you guys join another church? A regular Christian church? I dig what you’re saying about needing that sense of comfort and security.”
‘that’s what I’m saying. I wanted my girls to have that as a foundation.’
‘but what about all the lies and the untruths that they are being fed now? and then when they get older they’re going to start realizing just like we did that they were totally brainwashed and hate you for it.’
‘maybe. Maybe not,’ he dragged from his cigarette. ‘maybe they’ll like it and stay with it.’
‘great. Just what we fucking need in this family. More religious people. like mom isn’t bad enough. And just what we need in the world. more brainwashed religious walking around spouting lies and placing their unfounded judgments on everyone. Great.’
‘Fishy.’ he looked me in the eye. ‘I know what you mean. O.k.? but I’m not raising my kids alone. You know what I mean? There’s two of us. it’s a family. There are two of us making the decisions here. you know? it’s a compromise.’
‘well when I have kids my kids are going to make fun of your kids…’ I laughed. ‘they’re going to KNOW the truth, and your kids are going to be blind zombies thinking that God created Adam and eve in the year 4000 BC and they’re going to feel awfully confused when they start learning about evolution and all that. its not going to be pretty.’
‘No. I’ll take care of that.’
‘how?’
‘because man. Give me more credit. I’ll teach my girls what’s up. I’m not going to let them take away all that. I’m going to teach them the truth. But the church is going to give them a sense of values and morals and a foundation that they can build off….’
‘like the same kind of values and morals we learned going to catholic school all our lives? Dude. You and I both know how horrible that was. There weren’t any values or morals in those schools. It was pure hell.’
‘I agree with you bro. I really do. my girls aren’t going to get that. but hopefully they’ll get a good sense of community that we just can’t get without church right now.’
‘I know what you mean man. But I just can’t help but believe that we can still get that good warm sense of comfort and community without a church. At least not the normal American Christian churches. I just don’t believe in it anymore… too much damage has been done over the centuries…’
‘I agree with you man. But like I said, there’s two of us now making the decisions. We’re cool. don’t worry about it.’
‘easy for you to say. I just don’t like the idea of more people coming into the world thinking that the church is the right way and all the other ways are the wrong way. I don’t like this idea that those people carry around that think that there’s one God and all the other ones are false gods…’
‘I know dude. But isn’t that what you do anyway? In your own way?’ I thought about what he said.
‘o.k. yeah. I’ll give you that. I’m guilty of the same thing in a way. but I don’t have any labels or identities or rules attached to my God man. IT just is. You know?’
‘as well it should be. I know that man. And my girls will be the same way. just as I am. And you are.’
‘yeah man. That’s the fucked up part about religions right now on the earth. They all think they’re the right one and everyone else is wrong. its fucked up. it causes too much pain for everyone. All their rules and dogmas… its always about who’s right and who’s wrong. and next thing you know, someone’s getting murdered or locked in prison or blown up. its horrible. Always has been… I just thought that our family was different…’
‘we are different Fishy. trust me on this one. I know what I’m doing.’
‘I trust you bro. its cool. I just had to say my peace.’
‘cool man. Thanks for understanding. Now please don’t become a fag.’ Big laughs.

I sat there in the lukewarm water of the bath. I bowed my head. “God help me to find within myself a deep and meaningful spirituality that fulfills me completely but that is honest and real. I won’t have any of the manmade stuff. you and I both know it. But we both also know that I cannot continue to live without something. show me who you are. If you are. I’m here and I’m waiting. Show me God.”

Like this:

Like Loading...
Uncategorized Catholic Church, discovering religion, Labels: being thankful, morals or religion, morning meditations, Religion, transcendence diaries

A private little world for me… a private little world for you. The online journals and musings of singer-songwriter author and activist Ed Hale. The Transcendence Diaries have been posting regularly online since 2001. Comments are always welcomed. And so are YOU.

Recent Posts

  • Understanding Black America, Or Not
  • Two More Executed In Iran This Morning For Protesting For Freedom & Equality — What We Can Do To Help
  • Realism Is False — by Donald D. Hoffman
  • Transcending Genetics Through Consciousness and Particle Physics
  • Making the World a Better Place Starts With Committing and Consistently Showing Up
  • Masculina Stigmata — The Curse & Crisis Of the White Straight Man In the Modern World
  • Islamic Republic Of Iran Holds First Public Execution In Ongoing Revolution — It Is Now Time To Strike More and Fight
  • David O. Russell’s New Film Amsterdam is Flawed Sure, But It’s also An Incredible Work Of Art
  • The Mask Is Off — Pro-Palestinian/Anti-Zionism Is Not Anti-Semitism
  • A Small Concession Has been Won In Iran — But the Bigger War Will Continue Until A Full On Democratic Revolution Transpires and the People Are Free Once and For All From Tyranny

Receive Transcendence Diaries Updates

   
 

Subscribe

* indicates required
  
  
  
    Email Format    
 
  
  
 
       
   
   

Join the Ed Hale Mailing List

Ask Ed Hale a Question

Follow Ed Hale Online

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Spotify
  • YouTube
  • Apple

To Follow & Like us

RSS
Follow by Email
Facebook
Facebook
fb-share-icon
Twitter
Visit Us
Follow Me
Tweet
LinkedIn
LinkedIn
Share

Follow Ed Hale on Twitter

My Tweets

Ed Hale on Facebook

Ed Hale on Facebook

Listen to Ed Hale on Spotify

Tags

Abraham Hicks ed hale and the transcendence activism America American imperialism Avatar avatar course CNN Consciousness ed hale facebook finding God gaza god intuition investing iPhone Iran Iraq islam Israel itunes living in new york making music Music music video music videos new album new york palestine peace politics reality creation Rehearsal Relationships Religion Russia Scene in San Francisco social media songs songwriting the adventures of Fishy Transcendence transcendence diaries United States

Categories

  • Activism
  • Alternative History
  • America at War
  • American Terrorism
  • Ancient History
  • Art and Entertainment
  • Black Lives Matter
  • black people
  • Business and Entrepreneurship
  • Civil Rights
  • Consciousness Exploration and Expansion
  • Cosmology
  • Current Events
  • Economics
  • Environment
  • Evolution
  • Film and Movies
  • Friends and Family
  • Gender Issues
  • Gun violence Gun Laws
  • Health and Wellness
  • Human Rights
  • Iran
  • Israel/Palestine
  • Just Published
  • Life Hacks
  • Literature
  • Love Sex Romance
  • Metaphysics
  • Music
  • Music Videos
  • Musical Instruments & Gear
  • Nature
  • New World Order
  • Paranormal and Supernatural
  • Personal Expression Age
  • Personal Life
  • Physics
  • Politics and Government
  • Psychology and Human Behavior
  • Race Racial and Racism
  • Religion and Spirituality
  • Science
  • Social Media
  • Struggling artist lifestyle working for the man
  • Technology
  • Television
  • Terrorism
  • Uncategorized
  • Wealth Finance and Investing

Recent Comments

  • Ed Hale on Two More Executed In Iran This Morning For Protesting For Freedom & Equality — What We Can Do To Help
  • Ziba on Two More Executed In Iran This Morning For Protesting For Freedom & Equality — What We Can Do To Help
July 2004
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun   Aug »

Archives

  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • February 2022
  • September 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • February 2019
  • December 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • September 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • December 2010
  • October 2010
  • June 2010
  • December 2009
  • September 2009
  • April 2009
  • January 2009
  • September 2008
  • May 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • May 2007
  • September 2006
  • October 2005
  • September 2005
  • August 2005
  • July 2005
  • June 2005
  • May 2005
  • April 2005
  • March 2005
  • February 2005
  • January 2005
  • November 2004
  • October 2004
  • September 2004
  • August 2004
  • July 2004
  • June 2004
  • April 2004
  • February 2004
  • January 2004
  • October 2003
  • September 2003
  • August 2003
  • May 2003
  • November 2002
  • October 2002
  • August 2002
  • July 2002
  • January 2002
  • December 2001
  • September 2001
  • April 218

Subscribe

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

The Transcendence Diaries is a property of Transcendent Media Group LLC (c) (p) TM 2001

Idealist by NewMediaThemes

%d bloggers like this: