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Month: May 2005

I go out to lunch with JerseyGirl today.

May 30, 2005

I go out to lunch with JerseyGirl today. we have known each for over ten years now, having met at our first Avatar masters course back then and continue to see each other at courses and various social events. She lives close by so we hang now and then. I tell her how we filmed all day on Saturday and we viewed the footage on Sunday and the audio was all effed up so now we have to re-film on Tuesday. How my show-finale speech was all about how we, the people, are losing the good fight and how the giant corporations that rule the earth are winning, how they have always won, how they will always win, and hey at least we have good music and film, and that’s all about all we have. the best that we can hope for is that it doesn’t get any worse, but even that seems like a pipe dream. The people with money, and I mean BIG money, are going to continue to sell out the rest of the people regardless of what that means in the long haul. I mean, after all, George bush and his big goal now of reforming social security, does that have anything to do with doing something right for the people? for his neighbors? I mean why is he so adamant about this? why isn’t he tackling more important issues like health care or the environment or credit card or banking reformation to really help the American people? instead he is spending much of his time now trying to convince the public that the government should overhaul social security to the tune of billions of dollars.. and who is going to get these billions of dollars? You guessed it, large corporations. The same corporations that put him in the seat of president. So now that he is president he needs to give them this on a silver platter, just as he gave them the country of Iraq. This has nothing to do with helping the American people, and most people know it, the media knows it, congress knows it, everyone knows it, but we pretend that we don’t because that’s the way it works. the emperor has no clothes and everyone acts like they don’t notice because that is way it has always worked. That’s our job as a people. So no, chances are we will not see reform of political campaign financing, or health care, or banking or unemployment fixes, or education, or protection of the environment, because even though that’s what we need as a people, there is no money in that for the big powers that be that run the world and got him into power. that’s just the way it is for America now.

On the subject of the environment. Well it looks like we lost that fight and we will contnue to lose that fight. the environment is a lost cause as long as gw sits in power. no matter how many people try to change it. we can raise ten billion dollars to save the environment and with one phone call to or from one president of one company to the president of the United States, all of that can be reversed and destroyed in an hour. that’s life.

Maybe there’s hope, who knows. but for now, at this point, after six months of interviews and really studying, this is where I’m at with it. it appears to me that we are losing, that the people of the world are losing, and that there’s nothing we can really do about it.

So I share this with JerseyGirl over lunch and tell her that this is the conclusion that I share with people in the TV show that I have been filming. and she is aghast. She is horrified. ‘but you are an Avatar. How could you do this? how could you even think these thoughts? You know that whatever you put your attention on you help manifest… you know this. I am shocked Fishy.’ ‘I know JerseyGirl. I knew you would feel like this. But I’m afraid this is really how I feel right now. this is how I see it. the whole idea of this show is for me to be honest with what I’m feeling. The truth is that the poor and middle classes and even the moderately rich will always lose, and the super rich will always rule, even when they think they are winning and really losing, they will still get their way because that’s just the way the world works. the only way change is created is by violent acts of revolution.’ ‘Fishy you do not mean this. tell me you are kidding right now. this is ridiculous.’ ‘I know how you feel. I’m with you Jers, I’m with you, you know my heart, we became masters together, so you know that I’m a lover not a fighter, but I gotta tell you, I have to call as I see it, and this is what I’m seeing.’ ‘well don’t you see that the audio being messed up and now you guys having to re-shoot is a sign from the universe that you need to change your conclusion a little… do you see that?’ she smiles at me this really big joyful appreciative smile that she is famous for.’ ‘yeah I see that. I will change it a bit. I am going to try to find a way to make it a little more positive… but I’ll tell you, I’m not even giving you the whole picture. I’ve been studying this stuff a lot and I’m really starting to believe that the only way we’re ever going to change things for the better for us is through violent acts of rebellion and revolution. I didn’t say that on tape but that’s what I’m feeling now.’ ‘Fishy I can’t even believe you are saying this. don’t you dare. As an Avatar, don’t you dare. Do you believe that we are creating an EPC? An enlightened planetary civilization?’ ‘I believe that we are trying. But I don’t think we are getting anywhere.’

We finish lunch and as we walk to the car we pass by this store called love saves the day. she forces me to go in and tells me that this is a sign from the universe. She buys me a little beanie baby angel teddy bear and I buy her a little love teddy bear. I tell her I will use the tools to discreate these ideas that I have. that I will begin to work on this to stop thinking this way. so I’m writing about it. trying to sort it out. how I got to this place, I don’t know. its not like me. but I am tired of being a blind idealist with no sense of what’s really going on. I am tired of watching all of my environmental and social and political activist friends work so hard and get no where. The truth is we all marched in protest against this war in Iraq all over the world and we got nowhere. That’s the truth. over a hundred thousand Iraqis murdered and we fought the good fight but the giant corporations of the world won. The Iraqis are dead and that’s that. how idealistic can you be after witnessing that?

Current spin: Moby, his new one, Hotel. I love Moby. How can you not.



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Uncategorized America, american issues, american people, angel teddy bear, avatar course, be more positive, environment, environment is a lost cause, EPC, loosing the good fight, sign from universe, TV show

Some recent pictures of Tehran, in Iran.

May 23, 2005

Some recent pictures of Tehran, in Iran. When one sees these pictures, one does not immediately think of the Iran that we see on the news in America. An entirely different scenario comes into view really than the paranoid delusions the American government tends to try to pass on to the unsuspecting public. In America when we think of Iran we think of the third world, a manic people obsessed with bombs and religious and military fanaticism. And yet the more you get to know the city and its people, a very open minded and artistic nature begins to appear, very much still like the grand Persian empire we study in our youth. Such a sense of style they seem to posses. my prediction is that Iran is now opening up culturally, their soul is opening and is about to flourish. Not because of the revolution that created the current conservative Muslim government that controls them but in spite of it. they are ready for another cultural revolution, but it will come slowly and subtly and methodically this time. through their people’s understanding that making money is what changes societies, not overthrowing your government. (of course if this were true, America wouldn’t be the prisoners we currently are under this evil regime). In any case Iran is the youngest country in the world today. over fifty percent of their population is under the age of thirty. Their favorite country in the world is America. This is true. they love everything American. They are not against us or about to attack us. they feel threatened by us of course, because of what we are doing to Palestine and Iraq, but they love our culture. I’ll tell you, the best thing we could do is overthrow both the American and the current Iranian governments and put in our own people controlled governments instead of these current corporate run ones. Take the current ones and put all these old guys in their boring old suits on an island somewhere in the pacific, give them a bunch of guns and bombs and let them fight it out as long as they want to or until they’re all dead. Then we use the island as giant garbage dump for the whole world. that my friends is what we should really do.

So the Iranian people if you are lucky enough to know them, their hearts are open now and they are ready to join the western world and even more importantly carve out a special place of their own. let us hope they will still be able to maintain their own cultural identity and that America won’t attack or attempt to control as it always seems to want to. I have a great feeling about the country and people Iran. There is something in the air about it, something I feel intuitively. Pictures below tell more than I can possibly muster up with words. something about Iran that is going to be spectacular once they fully release themselves.

[evolution: it is happening all over the earth now. a real cultural revolution in the soul of humankind. Again, in my opinion, in spite of radically conservative militant and intolerant governments like the current American, Chinese, Cuban, or north Korean or so many other governments and their grand schemes of deception and imperialism. The people are still forging onward and breaking new ground.

We see this evolution everywhere. we are constantly evolving now. at a very rapid pace. If you are an early adopter, someone who is always on the cutting edge of thought and use, you notice it daily. You notice it on the Internet especially, how the interface and usability is constantly changing. Systems like eBay or Amazon or myspace or p2p sharing platforms are always improving and shifting gears. Its exciting. Pop-culturists do not notice it as much because for the most part they stay in the center of the mainstream and never venture out too much; the business of pop culture is to keep the majority of the people in the same mind frame year after tired year so they keep buying whatever the suits are selling and don’t migrate to any new anythings. “Here’s a pretty face. She wants to have sex with you. really she does. Here’s a hot guy. you can be just like him. really you can. here’s a funny guy. his show is on at 8pm prime time. watch him. everyone does. Really they do. here’s some fresh new music for you. it was created especially for you by ten writers, fifteen producers, twelve remixers, and thirty thousand backing vocal tracks to sound just like everything else being made today. you’ll like it. really you will. everyone does. Here’s four hot chicks. They’re show is on at ten because its hot and racy. If you watch it, you’ll be cool. really you will. Its just like last years show with four hot girls that was hot and racy and everyone that watched it was cool. Don’t touch that dial. (big smile here) Use your credit card and buy today.” [insert big-teeth-smiling-face here, and perhaps another hot guy or two laughing while he swings his hot girl around the room a few times.] Flip on network TV or even cable, not that I’m recommending that, but go ahead, do it for even a few seconds just for fun or if you need to induce vomiting, you’ll see what I mean. it is de-evolution at its finest.

But yes, as we open up we see the evolution taking place all around us in spite of the mainstream. And yes it’s exciting. humankind is slowly evolving right before our eyes.

During the presidential debates we saw firsthand what it is like to live amongst a human society that is in between an evolutionary cycle revolving around one particular subject. Evolution is a very slow process, so we didn’t necessarily notice it. we never do. we only read about evolution in history books after we are all dead and we have had time to view it from afar. But after reflection one can remember the debate on same sex marriage as being a good example of this in-between stage in our evolution regarding this particular subject. If one can propel oneself into the future, even if only a few years from now, one can easily see that same sex marriage is a non-issue. Its happening. it will happen. there is work to be done of course, but this is not something we have to worry about. just as with women’s rights. It was only a matter of time before the human brain evolved enough to allow it to happen. most of this stuff is fear-based. Small brain stuff. the men were afraid to let women vote and have equal rights. The women were afraid to stand up to the men. So nothing happened for two thousand years. but eventually it happened. And eventually same sex marriage will seem as common place as women going to the polls to vote.

reflecting on the debates last night I was remembering how both men were very afraid to say anything about it. both very cautious, afraid because of this imaginary middle America that is evidently so threatened by tom and tom getting hitched that they’re going to base their election of a United States president on the matter. Forget that they’re all losing their jobs overseas and that our environment is being speedily sold off to the highest corporate bidders, that none of us have health insurance that’s worth a damn, or that our government is selling our country out from under us to china in the form of T-bills. Forget all that. don’t let fucking tom and tom get married or these middle Americans are really going to be pissed.

So anyway if you saw the debates you got to see what evolution looks like before it actually fast-forwards. Same sex marriage is an issue that is about to fast-forward in American society and on a larger scale in the entire human population. [the term fast-forward meaning that just before a subject or an issue evolves in human society, there is a slowdown, a pause, a hold back by the slower thinking, slower evolving moral majority among us, and then bam! It fast forwards to its rightful conclusion. I’m not sure if anyone else has already noticed this phenom but its obvious.] What we saw when we listened to those two men state their humble opinions that they are against same sex marriage because it is against their religions is the last howl by a bunch of old timer, slower-evolving, dying old cows before they are led to the slaughter. Not bad animals at all. served their purpose. And so we honor them. but unfortunately they are not serving humankind anymore because they are being held back by old world non-evolving states of mind. In ten years we are going to study these debates in our public schools in college when we are studying the cultural evolution of human rights. Read me now, believe me later.]

Anyway enough of my babbling. Here are those pictures of Iran I promised you: I think they will surprise a lot of us.

Subject: Recent Pictures of Tehran

For those of you who haven’t been in Tehran in a while, here’s how the city and the people have changed.

Saman Complex – Tehran

Tehran Philharmonic Orchestra

Apartment interior – Tehran

Interior of a Tehran residence

Under-the-Caspian restaurant

Outdoor Cafe – Tehran, Iran

Mall

Office Building – Tehran, Iran

 Art in the Tehran Metro

Residential Buildings – Tehran, Iran

 Entrance of luxury condo in Tehran

Lobby of luxury condo in Tehran

 

 Living room of luxury condo apartment

Niyavaran

Luxury condo apartment in Tehran

View over Tehran, Iran

New Project – Luxury condos in Tehran

Commercial building – Tehran, Iran

New Project / Iran-Tehran

Tehran residential buildings

People – Tehran

Racer Laleh Seddigh

Shemshak ski resort



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Uncategorized 50% under thirty, Amazon, cultural evolution, Ebay, evolution, evolution of the soul, internet interface, Iran, iranian people, presidential debates, TV, youngest country

We can see the slow but constant evolution all around us all the time

May 21, 2005

We can see the slow but constant cultural evolution all around us all the time. thought about candy the other night. yes candy. As always mom sends a ten pound box of it every year for Easter no matter where I am in the world. [this is just one of those awesome things about having a mom that you hope one day you can reciprocate. I return to my humble abode from being home for the holidays with a five pound Christmas stocking filled with gifts and candy and homemade cookies etc. then Easter comes around and I get these huge boxes of Easter candy, and then of course for Halloween the same thing… maybe she’s secretly trying to kill me and Beav so she can take our money… LOL. but prob not. prob just trying to be sweet, forgive the pun, like moms do.] so I’m noticing that some Christmas candy had snuck into the Easter basket. How did I know this? because I was eating from a big handful of jellybeans and bunny and egg shaped chocolates when all of a sudden I realized that I was eating a bell shaped chocolate instead. of course one often doesn’t notice things like this. and just eats away, but with my limited lack of a life I was more than prepared to meet this challenge head-on and stop the whole damn event right there in its tracks. the problem was that these chocolate and peanut butter bells were my favorite treat in the whole damn fifteen pound box of sweets. And here they were bells left over from Christmas, somehow managed to surreptitiously jump out of my Christmas stocking obviously, and not having anything whatsoever to do with Easter. So what right had I to sit there eating from a box that was at best only pretending to be an Easter basket in the first place and then not even to be eating Easter shaped chocolates? Perplexed I was to say the least.

Anyway eventually I noticed that the bell shaped candies were actually made by the ever lovable Mr. Butterfinger. And that’s my point. The major candy companies finally figured out after decades that they could take over the holiday candy market. And that in its own little way is evolution.

And let us not forget Monsieur Goozalu (the Persian word for “making wind” or passing gas) a very famous fartist from abroad. At first coming from the visual farts, he soon realized that if he added sound to his works of fart that he would win even more fame and prestige and literally could floor his audiences. His famous fart exhibits include the very popular annual ‘fart in the park’ among many others.

Last screening: star wars revenge of the sith. Yes I must admit that I was the one in case I disturbed you that yelled “Yew!” at the very beginning of the film when the intro appeared on screen. Just couldn’t help it. it has been a while hasn’t it and I was certainly as excited as anyone else there. But alas like the other two before it, just didn’t quite cut it did it. by far the best one of the lot, but still left a lot to be desired. And one would mean that literally in this case rather than just cleverly copping a phrase to impress the next door neighbor in the knee high black leather boots. You do indeed walk away desiring a lot after sitting to watch these films. One wonders where is star wars? Where is that magic fairy dust that seemed to cover the first three when we were tiny tots. This one, wow, talk about bad dialogue versus no dialogue. Which was worse? The complete lack of story, sub-plot, or depth or the brief moments when we were forced to suffer through Samuel l Jackson pretend to be a Jedi master. Natalie Portman from what I can gather played a mannequin in a runway fashion show  many costume changes to mark her different appearances where she just stood with her mouth dangling open staring out large windows thinking one assumes ‘just which of those damned designers put this old football helmet on my head and how long do I have to wear it?’ haydon God bless him delivered probably his best performance yet which doesn’t say much because his performances in these lucas disasters to date have been any word you can think of which has a wose connotation than dreadful. But still, he did his best job in this one. about as believable being evil as mickey mouse would be or Kermit the frog. Speaking of Kermit, yoda was as always hilarious without intentionally trying to be the poor bastard, doing all these flips and still not getting after all these years that the verbs follow the subjects when you’re speaking English. The first hour or two was just a lot of video game fighting between God knows who for only God knows what in very fake plastic computerized looking worlds… But to be fair as always the scenery was quite fascinating and at times exhilarating to view on the big screen and one was in awe of the special effects and detail involved in putting it all together. but beware now I warn you of the scene where Ewan McGregor is riding on the back of a rubber dinosaur chasing a robot riding in a metal donut. So yes this too like the other two leave you longing for the first ones. oh well. we still have those very first two at least. I have some friends who worked on this film and they say the problem is that because George is George and everyone is so damned impressed to be working with him that no one says anything, no suggestions or critiquing. So its George doing his thing with no input whatsoever. I believe in input as an artist. The more the better. I have another friend who is an assistant to Ron Howard and he says that working with Ron is the exact opposite. He is always asking for people’s opinions so his movies tend to be better, more collaborative efforts and I think that comes through on the big screen.

Date?

In the movie theatre right now waiting for the new star wars movie to start. I have this cool fucking leather bag in San fran that hangs just right and is small enough to carry my laptop over my shoulder with minimal discomfort and so now I carry it everywhere with me because its easy. and so right there in the theatre before the movie started I was able to whip out the old laptop and start writing. right there in the theatre? weird? maybe. But in New York no matter what you do it seems as normal and acceptable as crossing the street. God bless our beloved New York. may I never live anywhere else.



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Uncategorized Celebrating Christmas, cultural evolution, Easter candy, Star War revenge of the sith, writing on my laptop in the theatre

For a few days my laptop which I carry everywhere had been acting up.

May 19, 2005

For a few days my laptop which I carry everywhere as if one of my very limbs had been acting up. instead of going into hibernate when I would be traveling, it would just shut off.  I would lose track of everything I was working on at the time. normally I never turn it off. Leave it running for weeks and months at a time. hit the road and it hibernates. Bring her back to life and I’m back up and running. But not lately. Frankly I think it was all the up and down the hills on that scooter in San fran, or just a abnormally shitty laptop because this is the third motherboard I’ve had on this baby in less than a year. anyway, two days ago its running very slowly, I control alt delete and notice that the cpu is running at 95% doing absolutely nothing. Uh oh. A few seconds later a get the dreaded blue screen. Uh oh. I reboot and nothing. Doesn’t power up. a light here or there but nothing. Doesn’t power up. nothing. Call tech support and it looks like the worst (not really the worst because honestly these things are essentially worthless boxes of plastic and metal save for the hard drive. The hard drive IS the machine itself. The hard drive is truly at this point one of our very limbs. The rest is just replaceable machinery). But still, prognosis being that the motherboard is bad again. fine. I’m out of the laptop for 48 hours. Wow. 48 hours without email Internet outlook or being able to write in any form. Like being lost in space with no contact with the real world… which of course is ludicrous but precisely how it feels. But I took it as a sign that I should get to work more on the television show and actually complete the project and depend less on the laptop, on the computer itself. And I did. I had a marvelous day yesterday knowing that I had no access to a computer. It was great. So I’m back up now and writing for the first time in two days. feels good though. [found a solution, besides of course always backing up to an external hard drive which I do everyday now anyway, two of them actually, because I’m fucking paranoid, but dell said I could get the same model and just keep it as a spare. Not use it, and if one laptop goes bad you just take out the hard drive and put it in the other one and you won’t even notice the difference. Of course this is an expensive solution, but a worthy one I would think.

Francis came up from Miami for business here in the city and we spent some time together the last two nights. A tragic figure she has turned into. will pen something about her called the Francis Tragedy. She drinks way too much and still depends on anti-depressants. We got into a mild argument in a cab on the way to dinner and on our way home from dinner. But we have slept together of course, years and years ago, and so our fights are acceptable to us I suppose and just part of the brother sister dynamic that we’re lucky to have with our closest friends of the opposite sex. friends are not easy to keep long term. At least that’s one belief. So we cherish it and take our heated exchanges in stride. I’m telling her I care about her and she should look into some kind of alternative means of exploring how she is these days rather than just traditional medicine and doctors and maybe venture off into Avatar or some other course to really create happiness for herself…. she starts yelling at me in this cab and I’m a little buzzed from a few glasses of sangria so I’m not really being affected by it too much. But then she attacks me further and says that my life is a mess but I don’t see it because I live in a dream world… she says that I am an embellisher… you think I’m an embellsher? I respond in a very Seinfeld manner and it forces her to laugh… but she continues because she is drunk. you’re so creative and fun loving but you’re not happy either Fishy. she tells me. you’re all pretense… at first I argue. But then I am quiet.

I stare out the window. There is a message here. in fact, what more do I hate about myself than this. if there is anything wrong with me still after all these years of processing and exploring it is this. and I know it. there it was placed before me at my feet. Yes it is true I am thinking. I am full of pretense. So much so that I cannot even stand to hear myself speak sometimes. She was right. there is a lot of pretense there. and for some, pretense is a-o.k. yes. in fact in our celebrities both in music and Hollywood we accept the pretense. We love the pretense. So for all my life I just always thought it was part of it. part of who I was. of course I am full of pretense I am thinking. that’s my job. Unfortunately that’s just part of being me with what I do. but that didn’t sit right with me for too long. maybe an hour or so and then I didn’t feel satisfied with that answer. I knew it was bullshit. I knew I was bullshitting myself just as I bullshit myself and others about almost everything. and then I tell myself that that’s just part of the job…

I couldn’t bare the thought. So this morning in the bath I resigned myself to it. asked myself what would be a good antidote to this new dilemma. After all, I don’t really want to be full of pretense. But I am. I have kind of snuck into it. fell into it non-deliberately. me and all my pretense. How else am I supposed to be… I am lying in the tub thinking, still groggy and sleepy-eyed and half drunk from the night before. my God. what could I do about it? I mustered up the courage to voice what I would prefer. “I am free of pretense.” Wow. Could I do it? could I create that? could I blow out all the pretense? I will try.

The first thing that occurred to me as I was thinking on this was how will it benefit me? will freeing myself from pretense benefit me or my career in any way I think to myself. I contemplate it for a moment and then realize that that’s half the problem right there. why not just do it just to be a better person? wow. What a novel idea. do something just to be a better person? without thought of how it will benefit me or my career? well, again, I will try. in any case, it was quite a wake up call. Later that night Francis apologizes to me profusely and blames the alcohol but I tell her to please stop. That she gave me a great gift.

Later, an online retail store refuses to stock our newest CD. I am destroyed by this news. just as I am always destroyed by all bad news regarding our music. and just as I am exhilarated by all good news about our music. I cannot even work. I go to the park and sit on a bench to sit and mope. As I’m sitting there, I begin to talk to myself. “you know, I know you’re upset. I’m upset too.” a terrible habit I know, but I find myself doing it all the time. there’s me and then there’s me observing me and making notes of it and not really effected by it but just annoyed with it… so I continue. “Every year we release an album and every year we go through this. you’re up when the news is good and you’re down when the news is bad. And frankly I don’t know if I want to deal with this anymore. We’re already working on a new album and you’re going to be acting the same way everytime something goes wrong with this new CD just like you are now. and you’re going to keep on doing this every fucking year for the rest of your life. and again frankly I just don’t know if I have it in me to put up with it. you’re driving me fucking crazy. a critic compares your lyrics to Jim Morrison and you’re emailing all of your friends and you’re on top of the world. and now a month later an online store tells you that its just not his thing and you’re going fucking mad and suicidal. Taking it so personally…. we have to create a new way of being if you are going to continue to do this for a living. You are going to have to rise up to a different way of being. This is too fucking depressing.”

So the question is this. can I do it? can I step away from the work enough that I don’t take it personally. Man if I was selling carpet I wouldn’t give a shit. its just another no from some fucking store. Who cares. But because and this is just a hunch but because its something that I make personally I take it very personally. Each and every goddamn moment of it. but what’s more important? doing the work? Or feeling good? well why choose? Why not continue to do the work and feel good about it. after all you aren’t doing it for the others are you. you never have. you are and always have been doing it for yourself. If you were doing it for the success or for the others you would be rob Thomas or someone like that. you wouldn’t be trying to cram in middle eastern and Brasilian themes and three minute avant garde guitar feedback noise into the confines of a pop rock CD in these times if you were doing this for others. no. you are selfishly creating art to please yourself as you always have. and the fact that a few people like it and buy it is a cool thing. but its an aberration. Its not the norm and you should feel lucky, not victimized by the occasional rejection. Well, in that respect I am bullshitting myself because my experience of rejection as an artist is a constant not a rare occasion. But still, I find a strange and disturbing joy in that and still don’t seem to mind enough to clean up my act and attempt to make a commercially viable piece of art. But on the other side of the token I still don’t totally go for the guts and glory and make a completely whacked out work of total weirdness either. It is as if I am stuck between the two worlds as an artist. Afraid to be too whacked out and at the same time afraid to be too commercial. Fix that and I bet I’ll be onto something really grand. In the mean time I suffer in a state of constant artistic mediocrity I am afraid.

Angels still popping up and showing feathers here and there. little signs.

Last screening; Melinda and Melinda. The new woody Alan film. the same old stories of lying and cheating lower-consciousness- human dribble that he has accepted for decades now as his calling card. Too bad. Because he is still an occasion a real wit. But the story is quite tired. Minimal character development and a group of young actors trying desperately to act like woody Alan in his old movies.

Also, the Abraham-Hicks DVD series workshop volume III. BRILLIANT. for those that don’t yet know, Esther hicks channels a collection of passed-on beings from the other side, allows them to speak through her, or pretends to at least. But the teaching is quite marvelous. I love the message that she/they speak.

Also, sneaked into the Enron movie with a friend this evening. wicked bastards. What a fucking world. so many greedy fucking bastards still roaming the earth pretending to be human. Ken lay’s trial isn’t even until 2006. so all these years he gets to walk around Scott-free when so many hundreds of thousands of people lost everything they owned because of him and a few other fuck-head bastards.

Current read: the diaries of Brian Eno. One year and swollen appendices, I believe it is called this. a heady intellectual treat about all things life art and music. into it. he makes a comment that all his life he attempted to keep a journal and never got past January 6th. but one year he committed and made it all through the year. just that one year. I smiled. I first started keeping a serious journal when I was 17. first year of college. and I’ve been doing it ever since. publicly since 2002. what a nut. I am afraid at times that may show a sincere lack of a life, that I have time enough to write everyday. But I am reminded of all that I have learned the last year, about men who have come before who had no problem doing it. mark twain would write up to 40 pages a day. Davinci kept journals for decades. Tom Robbins and Kurt Vonnegut and Stephen king are all pretty adept at and addicted to writing for hours and hours a day from what they say. for me I have come to understand that its just a very important therapy for me that I seem to really need. without it I would guess that I would already be quite insane by this point.



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Uncategorized blue screen, broken computer, creating art, diaries of brain eno, doing it for myself, Friends with Benefits, friendships, laptop problems, pretense

A private little world for me… a private little world for you. The online journals and musings of singer-songwriter author and activist Ed Hale. The Transcendence Diaries have been posting regularly online since 2001. Comments are always welcomed. And so are YOU.

Recent Posts

  • Understanding Black America, Or Not
  • Two More Executed In Iran This Morning For Protesting For Freedom & Equality — What We Can Do To Help
  • Realism Is False — by Donald D. Hoffman
  • Transcending Genetics Through Consciousness and Particle Physics
  • Making the World a Better Place Starts With Committing and Consistently Showing Up
  • Masculina Stigmata — The Curse & Crisis Of the White Straight Man In the Modern World
  • Islamic Republic Of Iran Holds First Public Execution In Ongoing Revolution — It Is Now Time To Strike More and Fight
  • David O. Russell’s New Film Amsterdam is Flawed Sure, But It’s also An Incredible Work Of Art
  • The Mask Is Off — Pro-Palestinian/Anti-Zionism Is Not Anti-Semitism
  • A Small Concession Has been Won In Iran — But the Bigger War Will Continue Until A Full On Democratic Revolution Transpires and the People Are Free Once and For All From Tyranny

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